Sometimes you have to move on

It’s difficult to find rest with so many of life’s pressures, and with the added communication of cell phones and emails compounding the problem, many of us seem to be constantly over-stretched with too much to do.

Even though life is meant to be busy, the feeling at the end of the day is that we’ve left things undone. For a lot of us, there’s always someone else we should have called, emailed or things that weren’t dealt with. It’s as if our lives could be compared to an over-packed suitcase, filled to the brim, and yet there’s still items we need to carry with us. 

What’s wrong with this picture?

Whenever I get to feeling this way, it’s a sign that I’ve lost the proper sense of time. For me, it means that I need to rest, relax and regroup.

As a young person, I spent many summers with my grandparent’s on their farm in Troy. The idea of life on the farm was still a busy one with farming operations and other chores. But Sundays were unordinary times. It was a day when normal work and the everyday pressures of life stopped. We dressed in our “Sunday best” and my grandmother would make a wonderful dinner. It was also the best meal of the week.

It was a special day, and even as a young person, I could see how everyone seemed to take time off from the idea of living to work, and in its place it was a time of living to love one another. We enjoyed walks, we visited neighbors and all was well with the world. Sunday was truly made for everyone.

Unfortunately, I forget that. I don’t let go of the pressures, the grudges, making peace with my enemies or calming my personal hurts. With all debts, there’s a statute of limitations, and too often I forget that.

My grandmother was my mentor, and she taught me a lot about life and helped guide me in the right direction. I miss her very much, and so many other family members who have passed away. 

For some, including myself, taking an entire day off is difficult. But, I can remember to stop for an afternoon or maybe an hour to take a walk, listen to the sounds of nature or simply take in all that’s good. 

I’m not too experienced at it yet, but when I’m always running, trying to catch the things that make me happy, I’m beginning to realize it’s those very things that are trying to catch me. And, if I don’t stop, my senses won’t know to grateful for all the people, places and other things in my world. 

Just over three years ago, Randy and I lost our son, Joey. All we have now are his memories, and I am learning to be so thankful to have those. If for no other reason, the idea of taking time to rest and take pleasure in thinking about this beautiful young man could be summed up in an analogy my husband said about Joey one Sunday afternoon.

While puttering in the yard and enjoying nature, he compared Joey’s life to that of a young plant. Looking up at me on the porch, he said: “Joey was like a flower that took root and bloomed, but then the bloom closed never to reopen again.” It was so surprising to me that he would open his heart in such a delicate and vulnerable way, I was speechless. 

It’s one of those things that I will hold on to when I am feeling sad about losing a huge part of my heart. 

As I write this column, I was able to enjoy a moment of reflection. It’s been a peaceful morning with no disturbances, save the occasional pet wandering by and curiously looking at me.

The time has come, though, to start moving forward again. There’s a lot of things I need to do, but I will try to quiet myself and only pack my suitcase with what I can carry just for today. 

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