Time doesn?t change identity

?As I read about each of the seven who died, I thought of Otto Frank not being a father anymore, left with a diary instead of a wife and two daughters.? ?John Green

My dad died 14 years ago this past April. And apparently next Sunday, it will still be Father?s Day. A lot of thoughts went through my head when he died, but never once did I think, ?I?m not a daughter anymore.?

This thought?of suddenly not being exactly what or whom we have identified with?was a part of a book (and movie) I recently read/saw.

I don?t generally look for ways to be sad or willingly stroll into situations that will spiral me into dark places. Unless it?s in pages like the ones that were in this John Green novel called ?The Fault in Our Stars.?

(I will go ahead and place full blame on my daughter, who made me read it. And then made me see it. Movie adaptations usually fail, but this one was draining and I?m still thinking about it days later, so it seems they did something right here.)

The author, as well as the actors in the movie, have said it?s a story about living. And it is, but the thing is, it?s also a bit about cancer. Getting to the conclusion of this particular story, which does entirely honor living, is a bit bumpy.

Not unlike most things that hit hard, now that I think about it.

There are a hundred things to take from this story depending on who is doing the reading/watching. As an adult reading what is labeled as ?young adult fiction,? two parts stood out.

Hazel, a 17-year-old with cancer, had overheard her parents crying over her when her 13-year-old self was losing consciousness, on the verge of death in her hospital room.

She said, ?Mom sobbed something into Dad?s chest that I wish I hadn?t heard, and that I hope she never finds out that I did hear. She said, ?I won?t be a mom anymore.??

And later, when Hazel and her boyfriend Augustus, also a cancer patient, travel to Amsterdam, they visit the building where Anne Frank lived in hiding. Hazel said, ?As I read about each of the seven who died, I thought of Otto Frank not being a father anymore, left with a diary instead of a wife and two daughters.?

In the heat of the moment, grief makes us candid. Despite what Hazel?s mom said out of anguish, she would still be a mom after Hazel died. And Otto Frank was still a father and a husband after losing his family.

Even though my dad died and I haven?t been able to be his daughter as actively as I once was, next Sunday will still be Father?s Day. And I?m still his daughter.

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