?Some things cannot be unseen.? ?Josh Zuckerman from the movie ?Surviving Christmas?
As a rule, I am not an advocate of excessive censorship. Lately it seems the exceptions to that rule are taking precedence more often than not in my house.
I may be wrong or overly cautious, but hasn?t the starting time for ?questionable? TV material always been 9 p.m.? Once the little kids are in bed, the murder/cop/racey/drama shows can start. I don?t know if that was an unspoken rule or a loose guideline, but it seemed to be a pretty safe bet.
My kids watch the normal stuff, Disney and Nickelodeon. And since my censorship plan has some holes, Spongebob?s allowed, too. It?s a different television world than it was when the choices were Bugs Bunny or Tom and Jerry, and all things considered, I think we could do worse than Spongebob. The CSI shows are off-limits, no ?Family Guy? or ?Two and a Half Men.? And most of the time, the news.
These are easy to control. We know when they?re on, so we turn it off. That?s my idea of censorship: It?s my job to regulate what my kids see and hear in our own home anyway.
I wish it were that easy. Here?s the problem. My husband and I were watching nothing special this past weekend. All of a sudden?at just after 8 p.m.?up pops a commercial with Rudolph peering into a window, his mouth gaping open in surprise. Pan over to a giggling Mrs. Claus, sitting in bed with a snowman.
So, of course, as normal people would, we stared intently at the screen.
?You think that?s wrong?? Mrs. Claus asks the camera. ?Santa?s busy and I have needs.?
There?s more?which I?ll skip for good reason?but it involves things that I never ever needed to associate with Mrs. Claus. By the end, Santa gets home early, and Mrs. Claus turns a hair dryer on the snowman.
Mrs. Claus. Rudolph. A snowman with a carrot nose. And it?s all animated like a Christmas special. Sounds like something that would grab a child?s attention. That was?funny? OK, a little. But wrong, it?s definitely wrong. I can guarantee if my kids had been in the room, their eyes would have been as glued to the screen as mine. I?m not sure how I would have handled that one.
Awkward. All this for a cell phone special?
I can keep certain shows out of sight, but it?s not as easy to regulate the commercials. So, I suppose that?s just one more thing to add to my motherly worry list. What?s another line item?
I suppose my alternative is to ban television all together. That would lead to a riot, followed by a meltdown. Then they would be on my heels and I wouldn?t get anything done. It might make me a bad parent, but do you know how much can be done in an hour if iCarly is on? Seriously.
But that?s my own problem. I think the 9 p.m. cut-off just got pulled back to 7. Because now I have a little more to think about.
Thanks a lot, Mrs. Claus.