Siri helped with this column

My idea to write this column completely with Siri, like I mentioned last week, is in effect for this first installment of 2013. For the most part, what I said translated fairly well, but some things not so well.

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I failed to mention last week that all of the Apple products, such as iPad, iPod, iPhone, were purchased locally at Quick Flick. You don?t have to pay any shipping and the folks over there are as helpful as they get. I will give them the moniker iHelp.

They even didn?t laugh at me when I couldn?t find the earphone jack on my new phone and told them I was planning to drill a hole in the new case I bought.

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We had a cousins gathering in North Newton this past week. Cousin Burt said his dad, my Uncle Willard, who grew up in Montana, always said living in that state meant nine months of winter and three months of lousy sledding.

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Brother Mark and I were having lunch the day after Christ?mas and were getting ready to take the remaining two pieces of pie from Christmas dinner.

When we were little, our mom made one of us cut and the other pick?and it was always about getting the biggest piece. Fifty years later, it?s all about who will get the smallest piece.

Siri translated it this way: ?We used to fight for the biggest piece now we fight for the smallest please.?

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When we lived in Minnesota as kids, my dad parked the 1951 Plymouth in the driveway, but one day he accidentally left the keys in the ignition.

Mark, who was probably about 4 years old, crawled into the car and turned the key. It was stick shift and most likely was in low gear. The engine started and the car began rolling down the long drive that led to the alley.

The driver?s door was still open, and I remember running to catch up with the car but I wasn?t fast enough. It?s still vivid in my mind: Little brother is scared out of his wits; he has the glovebox door open and is holding on for dear life as the car lumbers down the drive.

Because no one was steering the car, it veered to the left and came to a sudden stop when it crashed into the big old apple tree next to the long driveway.

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The left front fender was crumpled to the point where my dad couldn?t make any left turns, so we always had to drive places where he could turn to the right only. It made for some interesting logistics.

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Speaking of no left turns: In 2004 UPS announced it would save fuel by minimizing left turns. Because drivers are idle at intersections while waiting to make left turns, UPS developed software that routes the day?s packages with preference to right turns. Because UPS operates a fleet of more than 100,000 ground vehicles, the fuel savings are considerable. In 2005, UPS eliminated 464,000 miles from its travel and saved 51,000 U.S. gallons of fuel. Source: Wikipedia via RocketTech.

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I haven?t made any resolutions for the new year yet, and don?t plan to. That said, I do have some big ideas that I am working on at the moment?at least they are big ideas in my opinion.

That?s what is neat about a new year. A clean slate of sorts.

If you wish to share your comments or ideas, my e-mail address is joel@hillsborofreepress.com.

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