Hearing is not always knowing

After 40-plus years of marriage, one would think a guy would have a clue about what the woman in the house means when she talks. I might fall in the category of having not much of a clue.

I no longer get direct instructions, but rather clues about what I?m supposed to be doing.

Here?s an example. The other night I?m sitting at my computer trying to get some work done before I head to a meeting. She walks by and says, ?I?ll see you when you get back.? Translated, it means it?s time for you to get up and go to your meeting.

When she thought I had forgotten to take a pill, I heard something like ?maybe we should get you one of those pill containers that have the days of the week on them.?

I?m not complaining. I have a great wife to have put up with me for this long.

  • Did you know it?s impossible to lick your own elbow?

  • I?m starting to get Orange Bowl fever. In fact, I?ve started peeling and eating oranges every day just to get ready.

  • Because of the holiday schedules at some of the area post offices and store closings, it was necessary for me to get up early last Wednesday to finish some deliveries. First stop was Ramona at 7 a.m. Next stop was Goessel at 8 a.m. I can honestly say I have never made that cross-county trip before.

    I didn?t know it was possible to be delayed by the same train three times. It first happened in Tampa, then on the Durham-Lincolnville road, and then again at the Durham crossing on Kansas Highway 15.

  • Here?s something I?ll bet many other guys, like me, don?t understand.

    Let?s say some chili was made in a big pot on the stove. You have eaten some two times, and now there?s a small amount left in the bottom of the pan.

    At that point it is not OK to put the pan back in the fridge. You have to scrape it into a plastic container and put it in the refrigerator. In my view, that makes two things to wash instead of one.

    It has never made any sense to do it that way and probably never will.

  • While I was on my road trip last week I heard on the radio that there is some kind of supplement that will help keep your memory sharp and your brain cells in good shape. I can?t for the life of me remember what it?s called.

  • There are thousands of videos on youtube that are totally worthless, but there are also some gems. Like the one about the amazing Paul Potts, who won the British version of ?American Idol? called ?Britain?s Got Talent.?

    Here is the link to the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k08yxu57NA. This video has been viewed more than 19 million times. I will embed the video in my column on our Web site for easier access. You don?t have to like opera to be in total awe.

  • I was poking around in our Free Press Web site analytics and learned that in the past 30 days we have had visitors from every state except Vermont, New Hampshire and Rhode Island. The majority of the visitors are from Kansas, but there are people all over the country who still have a lot of interest in our town and its happenings.

  • Have you tried charging your cell phone in a switched outlet? It doesn?t work if switched off.

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