Finding things inside out

This is a bit crazy but the other day I thought my underwear was imported from Germany or Russia.

I looked down at the label and it read like this:

Then I discovered that they were just inside out.

When I get my new eyeglasses next month I will be over the moon. If you see me walking around without any glasses it isn’t because I don’t need them, but more because my old ones with the prisms to eliminate the double vision do not work any more.

My eye has to heal from the surgery so I can find out what my prescription will be in about a month.

I get more excited about my book of columns every time I work on it, because I am getting closer to the finish line. I visited with Bonnie of the Hillsboro Community Foundation again this past week about how the scholarship idea is put together to do what I want it to do.

I am hoping to have everything decided by the time my book(s) go to press.

I know now there will be two books of about 500 pages each. The formatting is the hardest part because it takes a while to do that part plus writing the dedication, acknowledgment and introduction.

If you haven’t streamed a Tabor Bluejay football game lately, you haven’t seen all of the bells and whistles they have added to the mix.

They now feature instant replay and other camera angles in addition to the up top camera they began with years ago.

I hear it is because of the fine arts center that these capabilities exist as the replays are created on South Lincoln and beamed back to the stadium.

I hear that the equipment doesn’t come cheap.

I am still looking for the recording I made when Father Tonne was on the David Letterman Late Show.

I can’t remember exactly where the clip is in the big scheme of things.

I will keep looking.

Some of you may know that Father Tonne authored seven volumes of joke books named “Jokes Priests Can Tell.”

He was the priest at the Catholic Church in Pilsen for many years. One time he showed me all of the clippings he had stored in a file cabinet that was chock full of jokes.

Here is one of the jokes from Volume 7,

Two inmates of a Concord, Mass. prison where Mother Teresa visited; laid claim to a piece of seat cloth that the nun sat on during a Mass one day and decided to finance their re-entry into society.

“We just feel that this is a blessing bestowed on us,” Ralph Woodward, serving 11 to 20 for breaking and entering, who plans to cut the cloth into 50 pieces and sell them for $1,000 a piece, and “just spread the blessing around.” Praise be.

If you wish to share your comments or ideas, my e-mail address is joel@
hillsborofreepress.com.