Feeling the need for speed audio

I think most everyone has heard of speed reading. It was big 50 some years ago when I was in college.

I never learned how to speed read but now I am speed listening to my audiobooks and magazines from the BARD app. BARD stands for Braille and Audio and Reading Download a service provided by the National Library Service for the visually impaired and the handicapped.

This program came to me through Envision in Wichita.

The speed listening comes from the app. I can speed up the person who is reading the audibook to up to about two times the normal speed without distortion of the voice like a chipmunk, so it is quite a high-powered app.

Two titles I downloaded were “The Associate” by John Grisham and Kiplinger Report and Sports Illustrated Maga­zines. The book was projected to take 11 hours to listen to and the magazines about six-seven hours each. And that is where the speed listening comes in.

I think I might have slept through some of my speed listenings.

The class ring owner has been found. The guy was a 1982 HHS grad from the Lehigh area. Cynnie (Washmon) Fleming (’64) helped put the ring’s owner and the lady in Tennessee together through the Hillsboro HHS Alumni Association facebook page. Cynnie has been a tireless leader of the all-school reunion committee for a number of years now and I wish to publicly thank her for everything she has done thus far to help the cause.

If you haven’t had an opportunity to purchase my two-volume set of Two Decades of Nonsense, 2008-2018 containing more than 1040 Partly Nonsense columns written every week during the past twenty years.

Not only do you get the books but you are also supporting a Free Press / Joel Klaassen Journalism Scholarship which will be awarded to a high school senior in the Free Pes distribution area beginning next spring.

The price of the two books is $35.00 plus sales tax of $2.98.

I will be at Rhubarb Market from 10 am-noon, Sat., Sept. 14, to autograph, if you like.

How many cockroaches does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

No one knows. When a lightbulb comes on, they all scatter.

I am still on step four of my chair caning project. It may stay there for quite a while because I am becoming very frustrated by it all. Good thing I have no set time to finish.

I thought of another way I could drive a car again and that would be with one of those new driverless cars that are driven by a computer.

Apple’s betting the farm on these cars, freeing up its R&D totally for this project, says Motley Fool.

If you have comments or ideas, please e-mail me at joel@hillsborofreepress.com