Car makes for cheap defense

If you want cheap protection at home and don’t care for firearms, I’ve heard of maybe the perfect solution.

Take your key fob or remote for your car to bed with you and then if you hear someone rustling around your house or even trying to get in, hit the panic button. I’ll bet the noise would scare most people away.

I just hate it when mine goes off by accident.

Our publisher Joey Young hit the nail on the head about social media in his editorial last week.

I am so emboldened by social media that I have removed Facebook, Instagram and Twitter from my smartphone. Too much to deal with at such an early age.

Although I have quite a few other apps on my phone that are useful like sports scores, etc. You know, the important stuff.

The books weigh about a pound and a half each so a set of the two volumes are about three pounds with more than 500 pages in each volume there are more than 1,050 pages and 1,040 columns in all.

If you don’t laugh or smile at least once while reading or looking at the two volumes, I will return your money.

This will probably be the last you read in this column about my books for a while. I have some marketing ideas that I will implement after the first of the year

But before that happens, what follows here are a few excerpts that show the types of things that are contained in my books. If you know me, there isn’t much else to say.

From Sept. 2007—The Ranneys were in town for the Arts and Crafts Fair. I told Dave I didn’t need to listen to the KU football game Saturday night because I would just watch the Mark Mangino show on TV.

He then quipped, “Do you have a widescreen TV?

From Aug. 2017—A farmer and his new hired hand were working on the new barn. “I’m putting this rivet in the correct position,” instructed the farmer. “When I nod my head, hit it as hard as you can with a hammer.”

When the farmer woke up in a hospital the next day, he couldn’t remember anything..

From Sept. 2010—…If you think it always costs more to shop locally, then think again. When there are fewer people in our county to pay the bills, then your bill goes up. Less money to fix the streets, less money to support your causes when you or your children come around to local businesses asking for donations.

Has your local merchant always earned your business? Probably not every time, but what if one day they aren’t here when you need them?

…It would add more than half-a-million dollars to the local econ­omies if folks spent an additional $100/month….

If you wish to share your comments or ideas, my e-mail address is joel@hillsborofreepress.com