A comedy of errors for Joel

How do these types of things keep happening to me?

I went into my shop the other day and there was a fan still turned on. It must have been from a hot day, but which one?

Then I thought one day last week would be a good day to get something done outside.

So I proceeded to back the car out of the garage and vacuum and clean it out. That operation was relatively easy.

So then I cast my gaze into the garage and noticed that there were quite a few leaves on the floor and it would be a good time to get out the leaf blower and blow the leaves out.

And that is when the trouble started. As I was putting the leaf blower away I dropped it on the concrete floor and the housing, which was plastic, shattered. I picked up the pieces and decided that I could glue it back together sometime.

Then I decided to drive the car back into the garage knowing that my bucket of water would not be in the way so I proceeded to drive forward and heard a loud noise almost instantly.

Nancy runs out of the house and tells me that I had run over my walker. I got out and looked and saw that I had broken off the right rear wheel with part of the frame still attached. We ran down to our local welder and learned that it was not an easy repair and that it may not be as strong as it was all kinked up and aluminum to boot.

So we went back home and looked online for replacement parts and could not find it. It was late in the afternoon so I decided to call the manufacturer in the morning, which I did, and the reason I couldn’t find it was because they don’t sell that part. It figures.

I even thought I could buy steel tubing and rebuild the frame myself. But then I decided to go back to Hillsboro Hometown Pharmacy, where I got the walker in the first place and visit with Myrna Hamm.

She solved my problem instantly. If I would have used my head I should have gone to see Myrna in the first place.

When I was told on Oct. 2 that I had ocular melanoma (eye cancer tumor) I couldn’t believe it. After visits to Mid-Kansas Eye in Hillsboro, Vitreo Retinal Consultants in Wichita and Retina Associates in Over­land Park I believe it.

This week I have a consultation with an oncologist at KU Cancer Center.

My two options are radiation or remove the eye. I have chosen radiation and I will probably lose most of my vision in my right eye with the radiation option and 100 percent with removal. Easy choice.

I have this Uncle that drinks a lot. He saw a sign that said drink Canada Dry, so he went up there. I hav­en’t seen him in years.

— Henny Youngman

If you wish to share your comments or ideas, e-mail joel@hillsborofreepress.com

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