Women’s minds: Unwanted pop-ups

Reading books is not a love my husband and I share. However, a couple years ago he agreed to read a set of books that had piqued my curiosity. I came across the books while cataloguing for the Tabor College library, and decided they would be an interesting, if not enlightening, read.

In this particular case, I judged the books by their inviting covers and intriguing titles: ?For Men Only? and ?For Women Only,? written by a husband/wife duo of Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn.

The Feldhahns conducted national surveys and focus groups, coming up with impressive amounts of data to back-up statements about men and women.

As a chronic overachiever, I felt compelled to read both books. (Of course, part of what drove me was the desire to make sure my gender was represented in a fair and accurate light.) Surprisingly, I didn?t find much to argue with.

One thing I found particularly interesting was the metaphor used to describe how a woman?s mind works.

Jeff writes, ?Many women had told me that their thought lives were almost like busy computers with multiple windows open and running all at once, unwanted pop-ups intruding all the time, and little ability to close out or ignore any of that mental or emotional activity until a more convenient time.?


Case in point?right now these are some of the thoughts vying for my attention: I hope Gracelyn takes a long enough nap for me to finish this column; a shower would be nice; oh good, the heater?s running again, add some more to the utility bill; I need to go to the grocery store for hamburger; the bathroom needs cleaned; what I wouldn?t do to be lying on a beach in Hawaii basking in the sun and relaxing to the sounds of the surf?

?And there?s more?.

I?m trying to remember what it was like to feel rested. It?s been 19 months since I?ve slept longer than five hours straight.

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My husband?s grandpa was in a four-wheeler accident last week, and we are thankful he didn?t sustain life-threatening injuries. Miraculously his broken neck didn?t cause paralysis, and he is on the way to a full recovery.

On behalf of my family, thank you to the emergency personnel for your quick response, and to friends and neighbors for your prayers.

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In two months, my husband and I will throw a birthday party for our 1-year-old. (Again, as an overachiever, I?ve already started planning.)

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Last week I went to an Anita Renfroe concert in Wichita. As a comedian, Renfroe uses humor to explain all things woman. One of her jokes began by asking, what?s the one thing all women want? My answer: sleep, sleep, SLEEP! Her answer: one good photograph.

(I still say sleep).

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One of Renfroe?s most impressive feats is to condense 24 hours of ?momsense? into three minutes, set to William Tell Overture. A must-see for any mom, it can be viewed on youtube.com by searching Anita Renfroe mom song.

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Why is it that despite a living room full of toys, the most enjoyable items for my 10-month-old are off limits?

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Would I have listened if someone really tried to talk to me about sleep deprivation before I had my baby? Probably not.

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I wonder if I will be talking about first steps by next month? Right now my daughter is pulling up and cruising around furniture, and walking with help. So far she hasn?t been brave enough to let go, but I can?t help but think she will soon.

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And finally, one last pop up. My husband gave me an amazing gift for Valentine?s Day?a 30-minute professional massage. It?s the next best thing to sleep.

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