If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s to never say never. Sometime last year, I “retired” from my monthly column. But, I have missed writing, and at least a couple of fine folks have told me they also miss reading my ramblings. Though likely not on a regular schedule, I am back to offer some occasional musings. Feel free to read and enjoy or just ignore like you always did.
A recent trend in advertising is infringing upon my grammatical sensibilities. Commercial writers have decided they can take unrestrained liberties with the parts of speech. Allow me to offer some examples.
This first group features adjectives (describing words, you will recall) becoming nouns. “Happy tastes good,” is brought to us by Dairy Queen. Another company invites us to “Feed (our) happy.” A Wichita credit union says, “Welcome to friendly.” We should “Live to the full,” according to Philips 66, and “Live kind,” say the makers of Kind bars. “Make more good,” challenges automaker KIA.
Our local Emprise ATM assures us with a sticker that the bank is our “partner in possible.” “Let’s make possible,” says eir, an Irish ad company that should know better. And, finally, I can’t remember which company is responsible for declaring this egregious error : “I can sum it up with one adjective: toughness.” Wait. That’s a noun.
Other companies are attempting to turn nouns into verbs. “Nobody out-pizzas the Hut,” brags the business with the Pizza Hut moniker. Casey’s claims to know “How to pizza,” and Papa Murphy’s exhorts us to “Change the way (we) pizza.”
I know many out there are wondering who cares, and why, other than my 32 years trying to discombobulate students’ writing, should I be concerned about this trend? After all, language is a living, breathing thing. Isn’t it only logical that changes will happen?
The answer is a resounding “yes.” I am not against manipulating English to serve a greater purpose. Sometimes revisions in the rules of grammar can clarify. Nouns can become verbs, like when we use a bus to “bus” students. I am nearly ready to give up on the ubiquitous “Shop local” or “Play good” gaffs. I am still not willing to accept statements such as this one from Amazon as grammatical, however: “We don’t just think big; we do big.”
I can’t bring myself to accept the advertising world’s loose usage. At least not yet. I don’t think it would be okay for me to write that my wife and I Wal marted to McPherson and later Mexican restauranted because we weren’t in the mood to fried chicken for supper.
I hope you aren’t either.
Until next time….
