Holiday classic holds new meaning on farm

It?s been a little hard to get in the Christmas mood this year. I?m not complaining at all about the warm weather, but a little more precipitation (preferably snow) would have been nice.

It didn?t help that the nice fresh tree we put up and decorated promptly fell over the next day.

So, I?ve been listening to all the Christmas music I can get my hands on (except for ?Santa Baby,? I really don?t like that one) and looking at pictures of snow. I think it might be helping, especially since most of the shopping is done, too.

The kids have been bringing home all kinds of Christmas crafts from school. I wonder where I?m going to hang them all without having these unique works of art being eaten by the cats.

I also need to remember to explain why we can?t scatter the ?magic reindeer food? around (it?s oatmeal mixed with glitter and would be terrible for the birds) or explain for the umpteenth time why Christmas isn?t tomorrow.

Sounds like I need to go listen to some more carols.

In honor of the season, I thought I?d share a carol with you from a Farm Frau perspective. Please feel free to sing along if you?d like. Here it is, ?The Christmas Song? (with my sincere apologies to Mel Torme and Bob Wells, who wrote the original in 1946).

?Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose….? I may lead a very sheltered life, but I don?t think I?ve ever had a chestnut, roasted or otherwise.

The only fire I tend to bother with these days is the one in our woodburning furnace, and I don?t think it?s chestnut-friendly. At the very least, the house probably would sound like it was under attack as they popped. As for Mr. Frost, I?ll kindly thank him to stay away from my nose. I?m rather attached to it.

?Yuletide carols being sung by a choir, and folks dressed up like Eskimos….? Carols are one of my favorite things about Christmas. Growing up, we used to have candlelight carol sings (sometimes in German) and boy, do I miss those.

As for dressing up like an Eskimo, I get so bundled up that I can barely put my arms down. I?m still cold.

?Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe help to make the season bright….? Well, yes, everyone knows at least one complete turkey (ha-ha) but I really don?t see how mistletoe can make the whole season bright, unless it?s made of LED lights. Maybe I?m supposed to use it on the turkey to make the turkey bright? That would cast a new light on the season!

?Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow will find it hard to sleep tonight.? I sure would find it hard to sleep, too, if my eyes (or even scarier, my kids?) were glowing! And if I have to stay awake putting stuff together, it?s only fair that they not sleep either.

?They know that Santa?s on his way; He?s loaded lots of toys and goodies in his sleigh.? Toys, oh goody. We really need more things that make enough noise to wake the dead, or get broken or fought over.

I?m not sure how I feel about that sleigh on my roof either: Santa might wake the guineas and those reindeer hooves can?t be good on shingles.

?And every mother?s child is going to spy to see if reindeer really know how to fly.? I?m reminded of a quote from Indiana Jones, which I?ll paraphrase: ?Do you know how to fly this thing? Fly yes, land, no.? Again, doesn?t look good for the roof. The kids? eyewitness evidence probably isn?t admissible in court.

?And so I?m offering this simple phrase to kids from one to ninety-two.? I?m sure the 92-year-olds would understand it. To a 1-year-old, it?s just time for your parents to smack you into one of those ?My First Christmas? outfits, take bunches of pictures (usually being held individually by each family member in attendance), then open your presents for you. And hey, what about the under 1-year-olds or over-92-year-olds? I think they got left out somehow.

?Although it?s been said many times, many ways: Merry Christmas to you.? From my family to yours: May you have a wonderful Christmas, Chanuk?kah, Kwanzaa, or whatever you celebrate, and the happiest of new years.v

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