Time to stop Daylight Saving Time

Maybe it?s just me, but I?ve decided that Daylight Saving Time is just one big pain in the gluteus maximus.

An announcement in church last Sunday reminded everyone to set their clocks ahead. I decided I?m not going to.

As far as I?m concerned, if God had wanted earth?s rotation to be convenient for us, he would have installed some sort of dial in a fairly handy location so that we could adjust the speed at which our planet goes around the sun.

Then we could take a vote ever few years to see if the current speed is suiting everyone. If people feel there is too much or too little sunlight, then we could adjust the time until the next poll.

I think presidential elections would be an opportune time to do this. I think it would make it more fun.

Personally, I?m getting tired of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton going at it. It seems like a childish recess-time argument.

Obama: ?My campaign has more money than yours does. Nyaaah!?

Clinton: ?Oh yeah? Well my spouse could beat up your spouse! So there.?

Obama: ?At least my spouse wouldn?t take a few laps around the Oval Office with the intern.?

Clinton: ?No fair. I?m telling the teacher! I?m telling the teacher!?

I think the campaigning would be much more exciting if there were people in the midst of all the politics trying to campaign for a different amount of sunlight per day.

The ballot in November would look like this:

– Republican Nominee

– Democrat Nominee

– Preferred Amount of Sunlight

Of course, one thing we would have to work out is whether the Electoral College would make the final decision on the sunlight situation.

One of my classes this year includes United States Government, and we have been over the duties of the Electoral College several times. I?m still not completely sure what it does.

I always picture some sort of Ivy League-type campus with vines grown up the sides of old buildings with pillars, with a panel of judges wearing robes sitting inside.

Once every four years somebody comes in, dusts off the judges and then they decide who will be president.

To me, the whole national election thing just seems kind of pointless if they?re going to leave the final vote up to the Electoral College. It seems like election night is just more of an opportunity for network news shows to be on all night, interrupting regularly scheduled programming.

Not that I?m bitter.

So I?m definitely up for maybe putting daylight hours on the ballot this fall. However, I do feel life would be a whole lot simpler if we did away with the whole ordeal completely and just deal with it when it gets dark earlier.

If I remember elementary history correctly, Daylight Saving Time was invented so energy could be conserved when it starts getting dark earlier in the evening.

Daylight Saving Time was Ben Franklin?s idea to begin with. Please understand that I have the highest respect for Ben. But perhaps at times his judgment wasn?t that great. After all, he was the man who wanted to make the turkey our national bird. (This makes me worry a little about what we would eat on Thanksgiving.)

So I?ve just decided to ignore Daylight Saving Time and see what happens. In my lifetime, I?ve experienced about 36 jumping-aheads and falling-backs. I have decided I can deal without it.

I feel a little bit like a revolutionist.

You can join my cause if you want. Just don?t move your clock ahead this Saturday and let the rest of the world deal with the inconvenience. After all, at one time or another we all have to take a stand for something that we truly believe in.

On the other hand, I think I just really don?t want to have to figure out how to change the time on my car?s clock.

* * *

UFO: When the Titanic hit an iceberg in the north Atlantic, the silent version of the film ?The Poseidon Adventure? was being screened aboard ship.

Don?t ask why.

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