Big thank you to the front line

God bless all the doctors, nurses, health care workers, first responders and National Guard. Also Dale’s Supermarket and other local businesses that have stayed open to meet our needs during the Coronavirus pandemic. We have gotten some great take-out meals in Hillsboro, Marion, Peabody, Durham and Goessel.

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Congratulations to Maddy Daniels, graduating senior from Hillsboro High School, for being the recipient of the first-ever Hillsboro Free Press/Joel Klaassen Journalism Scholarship in the amount of $500. More than $700,000 was awarded to this year’s graduating class. How do I know this? USD 410 posted a video on it’s Facebook page announcing all the awards.

If you have read this column for the past 21-1/2 years, you will know that I get excited about using certain words or phrases that I’ve gotten to use before. Such as “I would rather have a full bottle in front of me, then a full frontal lobotomy. This stems from the audiobook that I have been listening to about the body by Bill Bryson. He tells in his book about a Dr. Freeman that gave full frontal lobotomies using an ice pick and a hammer. He performed this procedure up until 1967. Also in the book, Bryson tells of an experiment at a big eastern university where they put a substance that reacts to black light on the entry doorknob. Within four hours the whole building population had a reaction to the black light. This experiment proves how fast infection can travel.

This will probably be the last time I write about my condition. If you see me sitting in the car, I look like a normal person until I talk or walk, or try to see something. I have two degenerative neurological conditions that affect me a great deal, which are PSP and PLS and ocular melanoma. I have been to the same doctor seven times for my melanoma. Basically, I can’t do anything, except listen to audiobooks. If you ever hear of a brain transplant, let me know.

So far, my favorite book is “The Body”. That’s pretty good for a guy who never had a day of Biology in school. I am also enjoying the detective novels by James Burke. I have been listening to “Consumer Reports” magazine where I learned that two billion dollar industry of plant-based supplements isn’t regulated by anyone, other than the manufacturer.

I have a ballpoint pen that can write under water. “under water”.

My wife said that if I didn’t get off my computer and help with the dishes, she was going to bang my head on the keyboard. I don’t think she is serious. ldjflkjflkjdljdlkjldjeoueotiortu.

If you wish to share your comments or ideas, e-mail joel@hillsborofreepress.com