Category: Parts of Speech

There’s nothing like a good library

?As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.?

?Erma Bombeck

There aren?t many places a person can walk into and get everything for free. Without a police escort back out, anyway. As I write this, I can only think of one. The library.

Some people have never stepped foot in one. Some were forced to in high school and then forgot they existed. Others may accidently wander in from time to time looking for a public restroom. These people may not need the library and that?s OK with me. I prefer a shorter checkout line anyway and if I am looking for a certain movie, I want it to be in stock. Fewer people in the library make it easier for me to get what I need and move on.

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Forget the Joneses, keep up with you

?How?s being broke working for you?? ?Jon Hanson, financial writer and speaker

All those who got a Christ?mas bonus, raise your hand. All those who hit the holiday sales with your Christmas cash, raise your new iPod, Blackberry or Wii console. OK, then?. All those who stuck that extra money into savings, raise your hand.

Wow, surface visibility on the ground just shot way up. Nary a hand in sight.

Maybe a couple. I?m sure there are a few of you disciplined enough to have saved your bonus or Grandma?s yearly $10 bill. You?re smart but not necessarily popular. If only we could all be like you!

But most of us aren?t. We like things. Lots of things. And we?d like those things NOW, thank you very much! Even?especially?at the holidays when spending is disguised as ?giving,? it brings about the same result.

Everybody?s broke. Or is it that simple? Broke implies having no money. Broke people can take heart?you can always make more money. Work a few extra hours or pick up a side job and you can catch up to your bills again. Be thankful that you?re not caught up in the real crisis.

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Google is the Kleenex of today

?Google?s culture is unlike any in corporate America, and it?s not because of the whimsical lava lamps and large rubber balls, or the fact that one of the company?s chefs used to cook for the Grateful Dead.? ?Google corporate Web site

 

If you Google top search engines, you?ll Google itself, meaning you?ll hit on Google, which just re-emphasizes its No. 1 position.

Make sense?

I can?t technically explain that beyond saying most Internet users find stuff with Google.

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Change can be visible or internal

?I?ve been thinking ?bout catching a train. Leave my phone machine by the radar range. Hello it?s me, I?m not at home. If you?d like to reach me, leave me alone.? ??A Change (Will Do You Good)? by Sheryl Crow

Change can save gas?or a random beating: The historical purpose of Black Friday is to save money, to find the deal of the season, to get that adrenaline rush, that shopper?s high. (Some of you know what I?m talking about.)

But in the past several years, it?s taken on a whole new meaning. Now it?s more about survival than deals. Literally survival if you?re in the right Wal-Mart at the right time.

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Chief gripe: Too much for too little

?Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not coincidence.? ?Erma Bombeck

Four short years ago it took divine intervention to find a Chiefs ticket. I had to set KC Wolf dolls on my monitor, hum the Tomahawk Chop theme three times a day, brush up on typing tests to keep my words per minute above 80 and neurotically test my Internet connection to make sure I could get on the Kansas City Chiefs Web site at the exact minute ticket sales opened, then type fast enough to come away with two (three if the NFL gods saw fit) tickets for the worst game on their schedule.

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In the end, you can only control you

?God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot

change, the courage to change

the things I can and the wisdom

to know the difference.?

?The Serenity Prayer

 

The election is over. Now it?s all over but the crying, or the cheering, depending on which way you cast your vote.

Either way, didn?t you feel a sense of control when you blackened the oval in your little booth? A healthy sense of power to wrap up a year of out of control campaigning. I?m glad it?s over and I hold out hope for better things.

I always considered myself an optimist. Even through the worst things that I?ve witnessed or gone through, I have always held onto a sense of ?things will work alright out in the end.?

But do things always work out all right? Of course, the answer would have to be no, not always. They work themselves out, sure, but not always ?all right.? And not always how we planned or at least imagined.

I rode the fence throughout this presidential election, not sure which way I would vote until a few days before I signed in. Even on that day I had some doubts. But I made my choice and felt pretty good about it.

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Why do our kids turn out like us?

If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.? ?C.G. Jung, ?Integration of the Personality,? 1939

?Oh, Lord help that child?that is so me!? Have you ever caught yourself saying that? At times when your daughter or son (that child) does something that instinctively and immediately upsets you?

Then just as quickly you realize that whatever they have just said or done could have easily come from you because their reaction is all to familiar. Remind you of anyone?

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A look at future jobs via Australia

?I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there?s gum in my hair, and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard, and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running, and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day?.. I think I?ll move to Australia.? ?Alexander from ?Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day? by Judith Viorst

If you?re looking for job security, you might check out some Australian want ads. Surf on over to an international job site and search for ?marine scientist in Australian reefs? or ?census taker for CReefs.?

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There’s no ‘ideal’ courtship, marriage

?I?d say we?re still together,

thanks to a lot of boring nights

at home.? ?PKB

There?s a lengthy list of things that small towns are good for. People watching isn?t on it. You can try it for awhile, but after a time or two with the same people walking by, you?re going to come off as creepy.

Those allegedly nosey neighbors that live next door might actually be harmless people-watchers prowling for nothing more than cheap entertainment. It is a small town after all, and small towns have their recreational limits.

So, as village dwellers sometimes have to, we search for new ways to people watch.

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No excuses needed for simplification

?A little simplification would be the first step towards rational living, I think.? ?Eleanor Roosevelt

Simplify. You won?t find this word in the Oxford Dictionary?s list of the most commonly used words in the English language. But it has to be rising on the charts.

Simplification is the new black.

It?s the thing to do now that we?re being forced to make maddening choices like a tank of gas or a gallon of milk. A movie matinee or a box of Mike and Ike?s?

This might be a slight exaggeration, but the blissful days of having both are vanishing. Unless you sneak your own box of Mike and Ike?s into a movie. But that would be wrong, so, ummm, yeah, you shouldn?t do that.

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