Category: Opinion

Pork N Beings (June 13, 2007)
Pork N Beings (June 13, 2007)

Pork N Beings (June 13, 2007)

CarOnJacks2708.jpg And then there came the day Uncle Earl decided to put his car up on jacks.  

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Checkpoint?

As disappointing as a delay would be, we need to know if the district?s public-private partnership is legal. It?s disappointing that USD 410?s voter-approved facilities-improvement project likely will be slowed, and possibly derailed, by the filing of a lawsuit by a patron who objects to the partnership between the district and Tabor College to enhance the football and track facility […]

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Here?s your pop quiz for the summer

The first few weeks of summer have passed, I have a quiz and I don?t
have a group to give it to. So, you, gentle readers, shall be blessed
with my June test. The format is ?true/false,? and the answers appear
at the end of this column. Don?t cheat, now.

Section A: Insect oddities

1. In order to catch flies, it is best to approach them with a side-to-side motion, rather than straight down.

2.
The reason bugs tend to fly into lights at night is because they are
passing through the area and are blinded, crashing into the bulb.

3. In order to create a pound of webbing, it would take more than 25,000 spiders, working their little fannies off.

4. Black is the most attractive color for mosquitoes.

5. A person is more likely to get stung by a bee on a windy day than a calm one.

6. A male gypsy moth can smell a female gypsy moth from two miles away.

Section B: Human nature

 

7. The Immigration and Naturalization Service recently approached
Dillon?s about using the chain?s Plus Cards to track illegal aliens,
since the company already has information on its card?s users.

8. Seat-belt use is lowest among men driving pickup trucks.

9. Gas expands when it?s hot, so buyers can save money by purchasing it in the cooler morning hours.

10. When the price of gas climbs to above $3.50 per gallon, it would be less expensive to fill your vehicle?s tank with milk.

11. In Derby, a suburb of Wichita, parents can now buy test strips
to check their teens for alcohol consumption at a cost of only $2 for
each test.

12. If a driver looks closely, the cowboy on the sign along
Interstate 135 appears to be brandishing his middle finger to cars
passing by.

Section C: Animal facts

 

13. Calling a puppy to punish it teaches the dog not to come when
it?s called. It?s best to reward your dog by bringing it to you, and to
punish it by sending it away.

14. The snail mates only once it its entire life.

15. A dog, perhaps in sympathy to its human owners, can develop both tonsillitis and appendicitis.

16. Kermit the frog is left-handed.

17. Bats always turn left when leaving a cave.

18. Animals will not eat another animal that has been hit by lightning.

19. The brain of an ostrich is only slightly larger than its eye.

20. Snails produce a sticky slime that forms a protective carpet
under them as they travel along. The slime is so effective, they can
crawl along the edge of a razor blade without hurting themselves.

[Click read more for the answers.]

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The only way out is to go through it

?The only way out is through?the only way we?ll feel better?the only way out is through ultimately.?

?Alanis Morisette

 

Sometimes there is too much loss in a short period of time. The abduction and murder of Kelsey Smith in Overland Park is a story that mixes too many emotions in a single pot.

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Even my relatives are Fuller, too

If anyone says there?s nothing to do around here, you can tell them for me that they are wrong. Our calendar is full and seems to be getting getting even fuller. I even have relatives whose last name is Fuller

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Pork N Beings (June 6, 2007)
Pork N Beings (June 6, 2007)

Pork N Beings (June 6, 2007)

NerveWracking3425.jpg It's nerve-wracking when coach starts yelling at us to get our head in the game.

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Thank you very much

The folks in Marion deserve praise for putting on such an outstanding Chingawassa Days this year, despite concern that rainy weather might cause more than just Friday night?s activities to be moved indoors. Even on that night, what fun it was to have six Elvis tribute artists travel in from both coasts and several states in between to compete in […]

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Letters (Week of June 6, 2007)

Thanks for the school reunion   I am a 1953 HHS graduate and want to thank all who were involved in putting together such a great All-High School dinner and program! I've attended several of these in the past (not for at least two years) and I think it is great to have a "program" such as Mr. Mohn presented. […]

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Vertebrae theory accounts for it all

As my dad has said, there?s a fine line between genius and idiot, and I?m treading on it.

Not only is that the good attention-grabbing opening statement that I?ve heard so much about in English courses, but it also relates to the fact that I recently confirmed a personal medical issue that, until now, I hadn?t really worried about.

Let me tell you about it.

Within only days of school getting out, free athletic physicals were offered to students for next year?s athletic activities.

Let me clear something up right off the bat: I am not, nor have I ever claimed to be, an athlete. When people ask me what I play, I dryly answer ?the trombone,? and leave it at that.

But I got the physical anyway, because there is an off chance that next year, feeling bored from the onslaught of easy senior classes I enrolled in, I will decide to play ?Athlete? and get on a sports team.

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Galileo?s heresy predates Darwin?s

Evolution has been in the news lately. Three Republican presidential candidates shyly raised their hands to say they did not believe in evolution in a presidential debate last month. This past week, Senator Brownback wrote a vigorous op-ed diatribe denouncing evolution in the august pages of the New York Times.

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