Category: Free Falling

An odd fit between traditional labels

I was filling out an on-line survey a month or two ago, and one of the questions concerned where I would place myself on a political scale. The range spanned ?very conservative? to ?very liberal.? I recognized it to be a good question. I wasn?t sure exactly how to answer.

I realize many readers of the Free Press probably consider my views to be on the liberal side. I seldom agree with what so-called conservative Republicans are doing when it comes to the government.

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10 commandments just not enough

The Pope, God bless him, issued a set of ?Ten Command?ments? for drivers last month, telling motorists to be charitable to others on the highways, to refrain from drinking and driving and to take time to pray before they even buckle up, according to an Associated Press story on the unusual document from the Vatican?s office.

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Here?s your pop quiz for the summer

The first few weeks of summer have passed, I have a quiz and I don?t
have a group to give it to. So, you, gentle readers, shall be blessed
with my June test. The format is ?true/false,? and the answers appear
at the end of this column. Don?t cheat, now.

Section A: Insect oddities

1. In order to catch flies, it is best to approach them with a side-to-side motion, rather than straight down.

The reason bugs tend to fly into lights at night is because they are
passing through the area and are blinded, crashing into the bulb.

3. In order to create a pound of webbing, it would take more than 25,000 spiders, working their little fannies off.

4. Black is the most attractive color for mosquitoes.

5. A person is more likely to get stung by a bee on a windy day than a calm one.

6. A male gypsy moth can smell a female gypsy moth from two miles away.

Section B: Human nature


7. The Immigration and Naturalization Service recently approached
Dillon?s about using the chain?s Plus Cards to track illegal aliens,
since the company already has information on its card?s users.

8. Seat-belt use is lowest among men driving pickup trucks.

9. Gas expands when it?s hot, so buyers can save money by purchasing it in the cooler morning hours.

10. When the price of gas climbs to above $3.50 per gallon, it would be less expensive to fill your vehicle?s tank with milk.

11. In Derby, a suburb of Wichita, parents can now buy test strips
to check their teens for alcohol consumption at a cost of only $2 for
each test.

12. If a driver looks closely, the cowboy on the sign along
Interstate 135 appears to be brandishing his middle finger to cars
passing by.

Section C: Animal facts


13. Calling a puppy to punish it teaches the dog not to come when
it?s called. It?s best to reward your dog by bringing it to you, and to
punish it by sending it away.

14. The snail mates only once it its entire life.

15. A dog, perhaps in sympathy to its human owners, can develop both tonsillitis and appendicitis.

16. Kermit the frog is left-handed.

17. Bats always turn left when leaving a cave.

18. Animals will not eat another animal that has been hit by lightning.

19. The brain of an ostrich is only slightly larger than its eye.

20. Snails produce a sticky slime that forms a protective carpet
under them as they travel along. The slime is so effective, they can
crawl along the edge of a razor blade without hurting themselves.

[Click read more for the answers.]

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The mysteries of life keep growing

Life is full of mysteries. For example, I wonder how long it will take people of Kansas to realize that the law requires that they turn on their vehicle headlights whenever there is enough moisture to require windshield wipers. I?m pretty sure that law was passed last year.

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Decision to shave was an about face
Decision to shave was an about face

Decision to shave was an about face


Rare photo: Bob Woelk without facial hair.

?What happened?? That was my favorite response spoken by several people when they first viewed my freshly shaven face over spring break in March.

They spoke it as if there had been some terrible accident, and I had somehow gotten my upper lip and chin in the way.

Once people got over the shock of the way I looked, they invariably asked why I had done it. The simple answer was because I had worn the mustache for a full 30 years, and I wanted to see what I looked like without it. I wanted to see if I appeared younger. After all, my salt-and-pepper facial hair had become much more salty and peppery of late.

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Some things we?d like to un-invent

I enjoy reading Marilyn vos Savant’s weekly writings in the Sunday Parade Magazine insert in the Wichita Eagle. She always offers something challenging to think about, though I seldom have a clue on her mind-bending puzzles.

This past week, she headed a different direction, however, and reported on more than 2,000 responses readers had sent in after she asked what items they would most like to “un-invent.”

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