Articles By: David Vogel

?Abbey? has taken nation by storm

Conversation in the office was grim the other week as discussion turned to a family that recently has fallen on hard times. To start with, they nearly lost everything after the father made an disasterous investment. The husband of the oldest daughter made matters worse by talking to a financial adviser about the family?s investments behind the father?s back. Meanwhile, […]

Read more ›

All that glitters is not gold, or good

To paraphrase the ramblings of comedian Demetri Martin, glitter is the stigmatized viral disease of craft supplies. Don?t get me wrong, I really do like glitter. Not in the Edward Cullen sense, but as far as the elementary art room industry is concerned, I think glitter is an excellent institution. If you disagree with that statement, you?re probably an elementary […]

Read more ›

A few options for creative taxation

Here we are, standing on the ledge of the fiscal cliff looking down into its jagged…. OK, I don?t know enough about it to make any elaborate metaphors. I do know that we could all end up paying more taxes if Washington doesn?t make a decision. And as of this writing it hasn?t. I also know that if taxes have […]

Read more ›

Elves challenge gift-giving policy

NORTH POLE-?Politicians from the world?s holiday headquarters will be voting later this week on a new bill that could knock the stockings off Santa Claus?s traditional gift-giving strategy. Ike Sickel, a spokeselve for the North Pole?s left-wing Decemocratic Party, made a pointed statement to the press earlier today that the new bill will precipitate in an even distribution of presents. […]

Read more ›

Recounting the origin of Rudolph

Our Christmas Internet station, MCXRadio, is getting good reviews so far. (Special thanks to sponsors Rod?s Tire and Service, Hillsboro Ford and Midway Motors!) If you?re a Christmas nut like me, you?ll spend most of your day with it playing in the background. And if you?re even more like me?heaven help you?you also like to know the background behind all […]

Read more ›

Web diagnoses can raise heart rate

Ever since I heard the Hostess company was getting creamed by its workers? union, I?ve been concerned about the longevity of any sort of institution we have in this nation. I mean, if an 82-year-old company that pumps out processed puff-filled pastries can?t make it in this country, what other American icons are next to go? Baseball? Hot dogs? Apple […]

Read more ›

The price we pay for ?atmosphere?

There?s a cultural understanding that says it?s OK to spend way too much money on something because you?re paying for the ?atmosphere? or the ?experience? or the ?ability to post annoying photos of the atmosphered experience on Facebook.? I liked to think I would never do something like that. Those people who go to exorbitant foreign spa centers to stick […]

Read more ›

The eerie story of Casey and Marie

They say you can see them on nights like tonight, when the full moon casts its haunting glow onto the quiet, deserted streets. Empty tree branches?frail fingertips grasping for some desire just out of reach?sway in the crisp, blue breeze. And if you were so bold to want to steal a glance, you?d find yourself standing in the empty yard […]

Read more ›

Beware the virus Stultus Politica

Researchers at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., have confirmed the quadrennial outbreak of the American-originated virus Stultus Politica. The epidemic is more commonly known as the presidential election. Health specialists were tipped off to the communicative infection two weeks ago when Jim Lehrer, previously believed by experts to be extinct, emerged from a dark PBS studio just long enough […]

Read more ›

People: Protest pumpkin pilfering

As the weather cools and the leaves begin to turn, I am taken back to a time in my life in which I was the unsuspecting and arbitrary target of a sordid crime. It?s an evening I don?t openly discuss. I feel as though others will find it trivial, and I worry there?s no way they can relate to the […]

Read more ›