Want more people? Be ‘interesting’

The population of Marion County hovers around 12,000 souls. What would it take to double this in the next decades? Or, is slow population decline inevitable in this region?

The second question is, does the county want growth that matches the demographics of America?meaning solid numbers of young persons in addition to retired persons?

First Amendment is a broad freedom

Years ago my old friend Jack was asked to appear as an expert witness in an obscenity trial in Cincinnati. Jack was a local radio personality and a stand-up comic genius.

When the defense lawyers grilled him before the trial they asked him, ?Now, you will testify that this comedian was being artistic and not obscene??

?Absolutely not,? Jack replied. ?He is totally obscene and lacks any redeeming artistic merit. That is precisely why I believe he should have the freedom to speak.?

Even Bush concedes global warming

Global warming is easy to mock. Kansas gets a late snowfall at Easter. Al Gore got caught in a New York City blizzard where he was to deliver a speech on global warming. One can use these incidents to whoop it up, slap your thigh and debunk global warming.

‘Local Foods’: high-calorie memories

A whole bunch of chic city folks are now gaga about eating ?local foods.? They insist most of their diet must be produced less than a hundred miles from their dinner table.

After these trendy folks eat locally for about a year, they write a book about it and fly around the country sharing their experiences in well-lighted TV studios bleating, ?My food is all organic and almost no fossil fuels were used hauling it across the country to my apartment.?

‘Dumb Bomb’ fallout still evident

Maybe there was a secret, second terrorist attack six years ago on 9-11. The entire United States was hit by a Dumb Bomb causing us to take leave of our senses producing irrationality, amnesia, moral blindness and a sheep-like acceptance of political absurdity.

Hillsboro, home of ‘The Simpsons’

For two decades ?The Simpsons? cartoon show on the Fox network has made people laugh and groan at antics of the most dysfunctional family in America.

Homer and Marge Simpson and their three children, Bart the brat, Lisa the child genius and Maggie the pacifier-sucking infant along with Grandpa Abraham live in the mythical city of Springfield.

Travel habits have come a long way

This summer I have been pondering about the meaning of travel?while staying at home and essentially running a weekend bed and breakfast for family and friends visiting Chicago.

My great-grandparents?the Sudermans, Steltings, Harders and Fischers traveled. They bought one-way tickets on railroads and ships and traveled halfway around the world from the Ukraine to Kansas and Oklahoma in the 19th century.

Rural retirement raises pros and cons

“You are going to do what??

This is the shocked reaction of my friends when I tell them I plan to retire in Hillsboro in a little more than three years.

?You won’t last a year before you get bored with watching sunsets and come blubbering back to Chicago with your tail between your legs,? they say sarcastically.

I have lived more than half my life in big cities. My first urban experience was Saigon when it was a combat zone in the 1960s. (And after Saigon, no American city has seemed that menacing.)

But increasingly I miss the sunrises and sunsets in Kansas plus the slower?and less expensive?way of life. The idea of someday talking to a Hillsboro real-estate agent and asking to be shown some fixer-up houses costing less than a hundred grand and knowing they will not roll on the floor laughing has considerable appeal to me.