PARTLY NONSENSE- It’s been almost 8 years of nonsense

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN JOEL KLAASSEN
Last week I wrote I was having two wisdom teeth pulled. They call it an extraction. When I walked in the dental office, they offered to give me a stick since I wrote that I might have trouble holding my head up straight since my head would be heavier on one side than the other.

Since I have never had a tooth extracted before, I was amazed at how easily they came out. That doesn’t mean I would eagerly go back and have it done again.

I just realized I have written this column every single week for nearly eight years. More than 400 columns in all. It hasn’t mattered what else was been going on in my life. I just know that by Monday it must be finished and ready for it’s usual spot on the opinion page.

After one has done something for this long, it becomes part of life’s routine. Now it’s some kind of a record I don’t want to break.

Each one of these columns is 500-plus words, so you have had more than a quarter-million words of pretty much nonsense laid on you during these years. If each column takes about an hour to put write, I have spent nearly 21⁄2 months full-time at it.

I have offered to let Nancy write it for me at times, but she has never even considered it.

It’s really not that hard to do, though. I jot down ideas all through the week and then pick a few items and go with it.

My biggest problem is trying to remember if I have already written about certain topics. But then I figure if I can’t remember, then no one else can either.

While I was at home staying still after my trip to the dentist last Thursday, I found a movie on Dish that was four hours long. I never thought I had that long of an attention span, but was able to watch it in its entirety.

I bought some chair caning materials about four months ago and finally got around to fixing a few chairs recently. I had never done this before, so when I finished the first one, I noticed the holes kind of weave in a cockeyed direction and don’t line up with the seat of the chair.

For functionality the job is superb, but for looks-not the best. One good thing is that it can go in the bedroom and I can place my clothes on it and no one will know about the crappy job I did.

I guess a few people will know about the lousy job I did now that I just wrote about it.

We are negotiating to get the grandsons to come to Kansas and stay with us for a few days before their parents arrive. I informed them in a Monk-e-mail that I had purchased 200 water balloons.

They e-mailed right back. “Are you sure you’re not kidding? Cause if you’re not, we’ll be on a plane tomorrow.”

Possible reasons your stuff didn’t get in the paper this week…

You called 10 minutes before an event was slated to begin and asked the editor to bring a camera because you have “something you want to get in the paper.”

Or, you called and said you have an event you want to “advertise” in the news section.

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