PARTLY NONSENSE

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN JOEL KLAASSEN
With talk of much higher natural gas prices this winter, I told our gang at the Free Press we were not planning to turn on the heat this year. Instead, everyone will get a new pair of mittens.

Can’t type with mittens? Yes, you can. And by just using thumbs-only on the keyboard the arms have to go faster, creating a warming effect.

I made a big mistake last week when I said I just bought two 200MB hard drives. Greg Jones, who works with computers for a living, e-mailed to say that I probably meant GB (gigabyte) not MB (megabyte). He’s right, and thanks.

By today’s standard, a 200MB drive wouldn’t hold last week’s edition of the Free Press. Makes a megabyte cost less than a penny. Now, that’s insane!

Our “Hillsboro’s Heritage” pictorial book containing more than 300 old photos of Hillsboro and the immediate area will arrive here next week. Can’t wait to hold it in my hands.

Creating a book is a little like having a baby. After months and months, it finally arrives.

The book contains an old map of our town that shows that at one time there were two Grand Avenues, and Ash Street was once called West Street. I presume that was because, at the time, it was the street farthest west. Wichita still has a West Street and I’ll bet it was named that for the same reason.

Maybe something like this has happened to you. Someone I know locked her keys in her car not long ago. Then, a few days later, she was locked out again with her spare keys in her purse in the back seat.

The second time was a trick, though. Seems as though someone pulled her keys when she wasn’t looking and locked the car. Two guys at one of our local establishments who perpetrated the trick saw her plight and came to the rescue.

They said her brand of car had a feature where if you kicked the right front passenger tire on top it would open the door. She watched one of the guys kick the tire and, sure enough, the doors opened. After the astonishment was over, the other guy handed her the keyless remote.

Or maybe this has happened to you. There was this guy who couldn’t figure out why his CD player wouldn’t work. It worked in the morning one day and then in the afternoon it wouldn’t work, no matter how the buttons were pushed.

He took it to the dealer to see if the people there could figure out what was causing the dilemma. The dealer called about an hour later and said it works a lot better if there is a CD in the player.

I didn’t remember taking the silly thing out of there.

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