ORIGINALLY WRITTEN PAUL PENNER
At this time of year, one usually anticipates the arrival of the fall season. The morning air gives a hint of what;s to come. The first frost is but weeks away.
Well, probably not this year. We had our cool season early, in July. For all we know, December will average 70 degrees in the daytime. Perhaps we will have an early fall season-in late spring.
In keeping with the unpredictable nature of Mother Nature, I offer a few unrelated observations that hardly merit a full column’s worth of opinionated brass. That is not to say they are not insignificant issues, however.
In any case, any one of these might capture your imagination-or not.
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Did you notice the numerous semi-trailer skid marks by the U.S. Highway 56 and Hillsboro Heights intersection lately? There have been a few more close calls between semis and vehicles exiting or turning onto the highway.
Two fatalities have already occurred on the two-mile stretch of road north of Hillsboro, plus one serious injury accident.
Two deaths are too many. The cost in lives lost is already too much. The need for change is obvious, in my opinion.
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I read recently in a regional farm newspaper that a community in Colorado rebuffed efforts by a company that wanted to build a 40-million-gallon ethanol plant there. They turned down a potential increase in employment that would have added nearly $20 million in payroll to the local economy, not to mention $110 million in estimated annual economic activity.
If market research supports the economic feasibility of this endeavor, we should invite the company to bring that plant to our area. Recent layoffs by a local employer could be offset with a little economic boost like that.
In addition, this business will decrease our dependence on foreign oil.
It is a win-win opportunity.
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An ad on television caught my eye the other day. The announcer said something like, “Come to Cripple Creek, see history come alive and go for the gold!”
Yeah, right. Before you go for it, read the fine print. You are the gold mine. Your money is the gold. The casinos are open for business.
They specialize in one thing: they take your money-and you are history.
Gambling is one of the rarest mining ventures where the ore does most of the work and voluntarily separates itself from a valuable commodity.
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It has been awhile since I have heard this worn out saying, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
I still think it deserves an appropriate response, however. Whenever I hear someone give that advice, it always sounds like a put-down.
To be perfectly honest, it is a put-down. It is anything but nice, and a contradiction to boot. The person is actually saying, “Do as I say, not as I do.”
An old proverb says, “He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise.”
There is a time and place for constructive criticism. There is also a time and place to express a difference of opinion.
The key is in the timing and the proper delivery. First, know when and where the instruction will do the best good.
Last, but not least, choose the words carefully.
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On a lighter note, I was watching “Mash” while working on this column. The cast ran about the camp as if it were in the dead of winter in Korea. They were preparing for a Christmas party.
The producers of the show overlooked one little problem: Frogs were croaking like there was no tomorrow.
Perhaps the frogs were in the Christmas mood. Perhaps the heat from all the campfires brought them out of hibernation. Perhaps the producers of the show forgot it was summer in California. Maybe they used the wrong soundtrack, mistaking it for the chatter of Santa’s elves.
I wonder if Alan Alda ever noticed the humor of that moment.
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Finally, not long ago, a friend’s father instructed an employee to work a particular field. Because the employee had limited knowledge of the English language, he pointed to the field, then made a back-and-forth motion with his hand in a diagonal direction.
Thinking the employee understood his instructions, he departed.
Four hours later, the farmer found the employee dutifully working the field in that direction. The only problem was, he worked the same strip of land, back and forth, as wide as the implement, one half mile long.
I have days like that. The best part is, we can look at our unintended goof-ups and have a good time laughing about it.
It is hilarious when it happens to a friend, however. Two can laugh for the price of one.
