PARTLY NONSENSE

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN JOEL KLAASSEN
Have you ever Googled yourself? Try it sometime. Go to the Google search engine at www.google.com, and then type in your name for the search.

I did that recently and was amazed to find quite a few things about me. For instance, I found a guy with my name- the same spelling and middle initial-who is a chief executive officer for some big company in Canada.

I also learned that something I wrote in this column was reprinted in another Kansas newspaper. I also found articles that my sister has written for the community newspaper she writes for in Minneapolis, Minn.–

Sunday morning Nancy and I got up at 6 a.m. DST (really it was 5 a.m., body time) and drove to Kansas City so she could attend the Apparel Mart and shop for fall clothing for her store.

On the way home we decided to start using some of my free evening and weekend minutes on my cell phone. We called both children a couple of times and my sister twice. The reason for multiple calls was because the signal dumped us several times.

After running out of people to call, I thought: Why not call home and leave a message that we would be arriving there in about an hour and a half?

I wonder how many men know what “thread count” means when it comes to buying sheets and pillow cases.

The reason I know is because I don’t like scratchy sheets. Here is my rule for sheets and pillow cases: a 200 thread count is not acceptable, 400 is getting there and 600 is heaven.

Of course, the higher the thread count, the higher the price.

Now that professional baseball season has begun in earnest, I am in my second decade of being on strike from it. The last time the players went out on strike and hurt the peanut vendors, I vowed I would never follow it or go to a game again. When pro baseball shows up on TV sports, I flip the channel. When it’s in the sports pages I flip the page.

Flippin’ time is here again.

My strike does not apply to college, high school or summer baseball, though.

When UPS went on strike a few years back, I vowed I would never use its services again. But with all of the stuff we ship and receive from all over the place I had to relent and use it. This is a business decision. Besides, it’s handy having Hillsboro True Value take care of our packages.

There was this guy who moonlighted giving haircuts. His specialty was Mohawks. You might say he was cutting hair on the side.

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