PARTLY NONSENSE

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN JOEL KLAASSEN
I know a grandma who turned 14 this past Sunday, as did her two oldest grandchildren. But when the grandkids turn 18, grandma will only be 15.

— I think wearing ball caps backward was invented in Kansas because of the wicked wind we have so much of the time.

— If computers or calculators had been around when the months and days in the year were formulated for the calendar we probably wouldn’t have had a Leap Day.

Surely six hours per year could have been divided by 365 and added to each day. That would be about one extra minute per day-and I barely needed a calculator now (360 minutes for 365 days).

— It was really smelling like bacon in church Sunday morning. I leaned over and asked the woman sitting next to me if she could smell the bacon, too.

She said it was us-because that’s what we had for breakfast.

— When we were in Seattle last September, we gave son Dan one of the KU T-shirts from Nancy’s store that had “Self Respect” printed on it.

All of his friends thought he had been to a self-help seminar to improve whatever-until he showed them the Jayhawk on it and explained what it meant.

— The goal of being No. 1 is what almost everyone strives to attain no matter what you want to talk about.

Sports teams want to win a state or national championship. Businesses want to sell more than other businesses like them, or maybe all businesses in general.

The one big problem about this is that only one can be at the top. The fun of it all though, is planning and working to get there.

— Have you ever tried to jump rope with your belt? I tried the other day and mine isn’t long enough.

— “Waiter, what’s the difference between the white plate and blue plate specials?”

“The white plate is 50 cents more.”

“So, the food is better?”

“No, but we have to wash the plate.”

— We finally have nightlife in Hillsboro. Take a look downtown on a Friday or Saturday night. Better yet, stop in at Little Pleasures or Olde Towne Underground for refreshments and more. Daylight Donuts was open after home high school games this winter.

— Often I say aloud that I wish I was smarter. Most people agree with me.

I’m not sure if they also wished I were smarter or that they wished they were smarter too.

If you were smart yesterday, you may not be as smart tomorrow with all of the new stuff coming down the pike. Face it- there is so much to know.

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