DON’T ASK WHY

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN DAVID VOGEL
I don’t mean to be a whiner, but I’m sick of chicken. The cooks at school do their best to make sure our lunches are the best they can be, but when one has chicken at least three times a week, the bird does get a little foul.

For anyone who cares to know, I took the liberty of figuring out how many days the school will have served chicken since my first day of middle school (sixth grade) until my last day of high school.

First, I counted the number of weeks in this year’s school calendar. It came to about 40 weeks. I then multiplied that number by five to get the number of school days (I didn’t count the longest breaks from school.). That came out to 200 days per school year.

I then also took 40 (weeks) and multiplied it by three for the number of days each week we have chicken. That came out to 120 days. That’s 120 out of 200 days of school that we have chicken.

But then I figured out how many days we will have had chicken for my upper-school years. Add the three years in middle school and four years in high school and you get seven years.

Then I multiplied 120 and then 200 by 7 to get the grand (averaged) total.

The results? By the end of my Hillsboro High School career, I will have had chicken 840 days out of 1,400 days of school. We will have had chicken 60 percent of the time.

If you ask me, I’d say that’s a lot of chicken! No wonder we feel so… cooped up…in school.

I guess coming up with that figure is kind of being a pessimist. They always say pessimists are the people who say the glass is half empty. But with fall nearing an end, are you still a pessimist if you say the tree is still half full (of leaves)?

Speaking of things being full, my freezer was empty of frozen pizzas (my specialty). I took a trip down the the new Vogt’s and….

Jumpin’ deli meats! I had to ask Toto if I was still in Hillsboro! I now enjoy grocery shopping in Hillsboro because both of the grocery stores are so much bigger. Dale’s has done a great job, too. Now none of the grocery stores feel like everything is just crammed in. There’s space to walk and everything!

You know, it says a lot about a town when taking a trip to the grocery store is exciting!

Don’t ask why!

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