PARTLY NONSENSE

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN JOEL KLAASSEN
During National Newspaper Week I thought it would be good to take a moment to explain some of the challenges of delivering a free newspaper to about 7,000 homes in Marion County and parts of six other counties each week.

We do what is called an “enhanced carrier route walk sort sequence saturation mailing” each week with our standard mail permit. Walking postal carriers in Hillsboro, Marion, Peabody and Florence are required to address the post office boxholders and residential addresses in these towns. You may see “ECR WSS” on our inkjet address label, which stands for “enhanced carrier route, walk sort sequence.”

To accomplish the addressing part of the mailing, we purchase a list from a postal-approved vendor that has the most up-to-date list available. (Each post office reports changes to a central postal center as the changes occur).

This list is good for 90 days and it comes in the order the post office wants so there is minimal sorting at the delivery point. It is also what is called CASS (Coding Accuracy Support System) certified.

The list for this week’s mailing and for the next three months was updated Monday of this week. If you moved recently or changed from a post office box to delivery at your home, the paper will not be forwarded. It may take another 90 days before the address catches up. Or it may not catch up-and we do not understand why.

If you live on a rural route or in a town without walking mail carriers, we do what is called simplified sorting. This means we get a count from your postmaster as to how many newspapers are needed so that everyone gets one. Then we bundle enough papers so we meet the counts we are given.

So if the above describes you, there should be no reason for not receiving your paper. If you don’t get a copy, we want to know about it-and your rural carrier or postmaster should be notified as well.

Thanks for reading the Free Press each week. We hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoy producing it.

My brother was in town for our mom’s 88th birthday. We watched a little football on the tube and he was uncomfortable with me having the TV remote in my possession. He thought I needed to pay better attention when flipping around during breaks in the action. Because he lives in Tulsa, it got even more serious when the OU game came on.

Speaking of remote controls. Based on my observations there must be a zillion of those things in existence. Everyone I know has at least three or four.

Here is the latest fly joke submitted by one of our faithful readers and revised a little by yours truly. This exchange took place in Iraq.

“Waiter, there is a fly in my soup.”

“It can’t be. This is a no-fly zone.”

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