Partly Nonsense

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN JOEL KLAASSEN
Whenever I think of my ethnic heritage, which is Holland to Russia to Minnesota, I think of the words to a tune by Martin Mull: “I’d like to go to Holland, wooden shoe?”

Little characters that are used as abbreviations have names. For instance, “&” is an ampersand; “*” is an asterisk; “#” is the pound sign. But what is “@” called?

I would be willing to bet money Main and Grand streets will be finished and usable by the time the Arts and Crafts Fair rolls around in mid-September. Since I really didn’t mean “bet money,” let’s just call it a strong conviction. Watch and believe.

Have you ever seen a skunk that was six-feet long? I haven’t either.

But last Friday night I thought I saw one that long just west of the junction of U.S. Highway 56 and K-15 near Lehigh. I hit the brakes hard. When we got close, it turned out to be the mommy skunk and six or seven little ones. Together, they looked like one big black-and-white fur ball.

They scurried off the road and into the ditch. Luckily for all of us, they retreated. But they still stunk like a skunk.

The reason we were headed west on U.S. Highway 56 was to check out the “Shop the Night Away” promotion McPherson was having. It never hurts to try to learn what other towns are doing to stay alive.

According to the business owners we knew and talked to, the cash registers were ringing fairly well. It also could have been the drawing for $500 that made the crowd swell.

Our Hillsboro Chamber of Commerce Promotions Committee was wondering how it was going to hold the annual sidewalk sale Aug. 6 this year without sidewalks (at least on the west side). But it sounds like there will be some sidewalks by the time the fair arrives.

When you think about it, only a small percentage of businesses in Hillsboro don’t have front-door access right now. All of the businesses not located on Main or Grand downtown have always had access, and the ones that didn’t when the project was in the first phase have access again.

The wisdom of Steven Wright:

“My mechanic said he couldn’t repair my brakes so he made my horn louder.”

“Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.”

“The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.”

“If at first you don’t succeed destroy all evidence that you tried.”

What really bugs me lately is that I can’t remember someone’s name and, no matter how hard I try, nothing comes on the radar screen. Then later I try to remember what I was trying to remember earlier and can’t remember that either.

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