Horizons

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN SCOTT NUSS
It’s Feb. 5. Let’s see, that means the Super Bowl has come and gone, and with it have come and gone the usual wave of great-and not-so-great-commercials.

Before I go any further though, I must warn you: like almost all of the movies advertised during the 37th edition of the Super Bowl, this column is not yet rated.

During the Super Bowl, I found myself becoming a commercial critic. With each break in the action, out would come my notepad and trusty pen.

After thoroughly analyzing my data, I came to the conclusion that this year’s award for “Biggest Waste of Money” goes to Visa. Tiki and Ronde Barber wore me out enough on the ID issue for checks, but throw in Yao Ming, and things really got boring.

“Yao!” “Yo!” Maybe Visa should ask for its money back.

For every bad side there is a good one. I feel I have to award the commercial championship to the Anheuser-Bush Co. for its Budweiser/Bud Light commercials.

Please don’t take this the wrong way. I’m not the slightest bit interested in what these people are marketing, but I was very impressed with they way they marketed it.

If you missed their commercials, some examples of them included the traditional Clydesdale football game. This time the focus was on the referee, portrayed by a zebra, staring into an instant-replay box.

Other commercials included a tough-man competition in which contestants carry an industrial refrigerator full of Bud Light on their back-the first contestant is tackled by another person, who is then tackled by a midget.

After the midget finally gets the fridge on his back, he is tackled by an older gentleman who calmly informs them the refrigerator has wheels, and in doing so, calmly rolls the cooler away.

Sierra Mist also had a few good commercials. The two I noted included monkeys catapulting into water at the other end of their zoo exhibit, and small dog lifting his leg and kicking open a fire extinguisher. Both commercials portrayed the idea that Sierra Mist’s refreshing taste is “something like that.”

The “one-hit wonders” of this year’s contest included the Fed-Ex “Castaway” ripoff in which a Fed-Ex delivery guy delivers a package he’s had with him for the past years that he’s been marooned on an island with no communication. When he asks the recipient of the package what the package contained, she calmly replies with “Oh, nothing much-seeds, a satellite phone, GPS system.”

Go figure.

Speaking of “go figure,” that’s the first thought that entered my head when I saw the commercial for the George Foreman Grill. They say those things are a hit with college kids. Maybe I should look into a “Lean Mean Grilling Machine” myself.

As far as the Super Bowl game itself, I was happy. Being anti-Raider since I can remember, seeing Rich Gannon throw five interceptions was pure humor for me.

The only question I have is, why couldn’t he throw touchdown passes to guys in red when he played for Kansas City? Maybe it’s a good thing the Chiefs got rid of him.

In all seriousness, though, the game reminded me of the 2002 NCAA national championship game between Miami and Nebraska in which one team’s defense dominated the game.

Like the commercials, the best of Tampa Bay’s offense came in the first half.

It was also nice to see John Gruden get the revenge he wanted on his old team. Sure, he knew all the guys he was playing against, but it must have been sweet for him.

I’ll admit that I didn’t like Gruden when he coached the Raiders, but he at least looks like a respectable person in Buccaneer Red.

I’ve always been one to go for underdogs in big college or professional games that don’t involve my team, so it was nice to see “the team that invented losing” finally get a much-deserved win over a team for which I honestly have no feelings.

As a whole, the Super Bowl should be deemed successful. The team I was rooting for won. Except for a less-than-impressive halftime concert and a completely unnecessary post-game concert, I enjoyed watching this year’s event.

On a different note, if you haven’t already, come out and take in a night of Hillsboro High School basketball. Both of our teams played championship basketball in their respective tournaments, so there’s no reason for Brown Gymnasium not to be full.

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