Don’t Ask Why

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN DAVID VOGEL
In my backyard I have what I call a turtle box. Basically, it’s a wooden box made out of big boards from an old fence. It is dug into the ground and it has dirt and sand in it. Also, it has a little “pond,” a lot of weeds and a few stones.

I have two turtles in it-one named Murtle, because it rhymes with “turtle” and the other named Sherman, because my dad thinks it looks like a tank (don’t ask why). I figured it might be interesting to see the world through a turtle’s eyes, so here goes.

“Hi, my name is Murtle. I’ve been living in this box for a couple of weeks, and I’ve grown accustomed to not having the whole world at my claw-tips.

“There’s this new guy, though. They say his name is Sherman. Ha! Who’d want a name like Sherman? But anyway, he’s OK. He’s only been in here for a couple of days, so he hasn’t figured out the hat kid with the glasses made it so it was escape-proof.

“Sherman is just a tiny bit bigger than I am, his head is more yellow, but his shell isn’t as colorful as mine. He is a box turtle just like me. Box turtles are the best, as far as I’m concerned.

“We get meat every once in a while, but a lot of the time we get to catch our own flies and eat the dandelion weeds that are provided. When it’s hot out, it’s fun to take a dip into the large plastic container that has water in it. It’s easy to get into because it’s dug into the ground. Sometimes it’s a little too easy to get into because you can fall in by accident.

“What do I do every day? Well, I usually sleep in one of the comers of the box, but since Sherman has come, things have changed a little bit. I wake up, and just walk around, kind of aimlessly. Most people say that turtles are slow, but I recently clocked myself at going five sidewalk squares per minute!

“Sometimes I bathe, sometimes I eat, sometimes I put my head in my shell because of that stupid cat. Anyway, that’s pretty much my day. But sometimes that kid with the glasses takes us out of the box and into a huge field of shell-high grass. They call it ‘the front yard.'”

That’s life from the point of view of my turtle; well, actually I wrote it, but I’m pretty sure that’s what Murtle would say. Don’t ask why.

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