PARTLY NONSENSE: Ranking the best conveniences

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN JOEL KLAASSEN
One of my biggest challenges these days is finding where my Wichita Eagle is located in the morning and guessing the time it might arrive.

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Wherever the good shade is in the summer will be the places where the most ice is in the winter.

Here are my picks for some of the best conveniences of all time:

Remote control for anything electronic.

Keyless entry for truck or auto.

Velcro for kids shoes-how simple does it get?

Pop-top cans for your favorite beverage.

And Internet banking if you really need to know right now.

If I were a little older, the list would include indoor plumbing. My uncle’s farm up in Minnesota had an outdoor bathroom, and it wasn’t much fun to go there in the winter. Come to think of it, it wasn’t all that great in the summer either.

I was trying to find out why barns are painted red the other day and came across a site that is simply fantastic.

It is www.howstuffworks.com. It is a Web site like a popular science magazine on steroids. If you’re snowbound and looking for something very interesting, I’d suggest you spend a little time there if you have access.

By the way, barns are painted red because the Europeans used linseed oil to coat the wood on their barns, which made them kind of a rusty burnt red. When the people moved to the Americas, they continued with the same barn treatment here. Then, when paint was invented, red was one of the easiest and cheapest colors to make.

It was also a nice contrast to the whitewashed farm houses that sat in proximity to the big barns.

My grandpa Klaassen’s barn was red, my grandpa Dick’s barn was white. Who could ask for more?

Don’t let Valentine’s Day sneak up on you without an appropriate gift for your significant other. If you need a little help, turn to the center pages of this week’s Free Press, and you will surely find something special there.

Whoever said that living in Hillsboro is boring? Why, just last Friday, I was having my usual Mexican lunch and in walks Spiderman.

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