PARTLY NONSENSE

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN JOEL KLAASSEN
What causes little kids (big kids, too) to leave the crust from bread or pizza on their plates? It’s the same dough. The behavior must be learned. Grandson Louie used to eat his crust until he noticed big brother didn’t eat his.




This item came through my e-mail this past week.


At a retirement center in Miami, a group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments.


“My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee,” said one.


“Yes, I know,” said another. “My cataracts are so bad I can’t even see my coffee.”


“I couldn’t even punch out the chad at election time, my hands are so crippled,” volunteered a third.


“I can’t turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck,” said a fourth, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.


“My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!” exclaimed another.


“I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old,” winced one old man as he slowly shook his head. The others nodded.


“Well, count your blessings,” said one woman cheerfully. “And thank God we can all still drive.”




The boys’ basketball tournament is definitely well named: “Trojan Classic.”


The games Hillsboro won on Friday and Saturday nights could both be described as classic. There’s an old saying my dad used to say that explains it: “The team that won’t be beat, can’t be beat.”




Here’s a note on the adventures of Sparky the owl, whose antics we reported in a story a few months ago.


First, Sparky gets trapped in the Schaeffler House chimney and has to be manually extricated.


Then, he flies into the fire station and it took Tabor’s Max Terman and Richard Wall a half hour to shoo him out using a pole and a net.


Now I hear he found his way back into the fire station. Fire Chief Ben Steketee says he must have found a way to get in, and probably wants to be in there because it’s warmer than outside.




Gov. Graves is upset with the folks who proposed a volunteer program for those who wish to raise their own taxes. If most of the taxpayers out there think raising taxes is such a good idea, then there should be no problem raising revenue in this way.


We already have a volunteer tax program in the lottery and triple fines for speeding. In principle, these are good taxes because not all have to participate if they don’t want to. In reality, they are a disaster because the former is taking money from many folks who can least afford it and the latter, in which the faster you go the more you pay, is a not a safe idea.


Maybe we can’t have everything we want or think we need anymore.

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