Partly Nonsense

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN JOEL KLAASSEN
This Sunday is Mother’s Day. Some of us my age are fortunate that our mothers are still around for the unconditional love and support they have given us since the day we were born.


My mom had a little bit of bad luck last Thursday night when she fell and broke her hip. The medical system we have is efficient. In less than 24 hours she was rescued by Hillsboro EMS, treated at Hillsboro Community Medical Center and transferred to Hutchinson for surgery. (The surgeon who covers in Hillsboro was unavailable).


The surgery Friday afternoon was successful as far as we know. By Saturday, staff had her on her feet.


My mom has a funny bone in her and I’d like to think she passed it along to me. My dad used to reprimand us kids while we were at the supper table. Pretty soon one of us kids would be laughing. We could almost always count on Mom to start laughing, too, and the air was then out of the sails.


She had a few quips at the hospital when they took her to the room after recovery:


“Is this a room or is it a closet?”


And when they asked her how she felt, she said, “I feel like I have been pulled through a knot hole.”


We don’t know where or how we’ll celebrate this year, but believe me we will celebrate!


* * *


Do you think we’ll someday have so much concrete and asphalt laid down in the United States that the world will become out of balance and spin out of control?


* * *


I never thought it could happen but I became a lifeline for a friend in the McDonald’s version of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire.”


A call came and the question was: “What is the name of a national advertising award?” None of the options made immediate sense. So I quickly went to Ask Jeeves on the Internet and found the answer.


I think I just won half an order of french fries.


* * *


Alex, our 3-year-old grandson, is now spelling words on the sidewalk. He started writing his name with chalk while several young mothers in play group were watching.


They were in awe and must have scared him with their oohs and aahs, so he got bashful and quit writing after “ALE”.


* * *


Veteran comedian Bob Newhart once had a record (331/3 LP, no less) on which he said that if you put an infinite number of monkeys at a typewriter they would someday write great things, like: “To be or not to be, that is the gezornenplat.”


* * *


What in the world is up with Dan Rather’s hair?

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