Partly Nonsense

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN JOEL KLAASSEN
It’s starting to act just a little like spring and the onset of the golfing season. Here are a few tidbits of advice gleaned from the Internet for all of my golfing friends.


Golf can be best defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.


Tee your ball high…air offers less resistance than dirt. (Jack Nicklaus)


If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow or even during a thunderstorm, here’s a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.


The term “mulligan” is really a contraction of the phrase “maul it again.”


Why is it twice as difficult to hit a ball over water than sand?


Your golf game is improving when you start missing shots much closer than you used to.


Only a stupid golfer throws his club behind him. The smart one throws his club ahead so he can pick it up on the way to the next hole.


* * *


With all of the whacky things that can happen in life, I wonder more and more what might not be covered by my insurance. For example, what if you run over a skunk. Would insurance pay to get rid of the smell?


* * *


I know why basketball tournament season is called “March Madness.” I get mad every March my teams don’t win every game.


Saturday I had to tear off my KU sweatshirt after the Jayhawks lost and change into something more appropriate. But as always, I got over it and look forward to the next game.


I also have to remember that I didn’t do half as well as the kids do today when I was their age. They are, well, just kids trying their best. Plus, there isn’t room for very many at the top.


* * *


When we financed our house with an FHA loan years ago, I thought it was stupid that we had to install a handrail on the stairs going up to the second level. I never took less than two steps at a time going up.


Now, that railing gets used going in both directions.


* * *


This month marks our sixth year for publishing the Hillsboro Advocate. Little did I know what would become of it when it started in the front room of my house in February 1996.


The one thing many people tell me is that is has brought them a lot of business they never had before. This must be true or it would have died long ago.


It was the first attempt in this area to “play the numbers game” with a local publication. The Free Press, born 30 months ago, attempts the same thing.


We have now passed the 1.5 million mark of Advocate and Free Press issues distributed in the trade area.


We do appreciate all of the encouragement we have received from so many people from the beginning. It has given us the fuel to overcome many of the obstacles we have faced.


As far as we can tell, there are only a handful of people who really don’t like what we are doing.

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