Partly Nonsense

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN JOEL KLAASSEN
If it hadn’t happened to me this past week I wouldn’t have believed it could happen.


I put the key in the ignition of my van and started it up. Then- what the hey-I couldn’t get my hand off of the key. The tiny little key ring had impaled my thumb and wouldn’t let go.


I had to turn the van off, pull the key out with thumb still attached and work the pesky thing out of my skin. It didn’t feel too good either leaving about a three-eighths-inch puncture wound.


How do these things happen?


* * *


Grandson Alex has never ever said how old he is. Ever since he could talk, he has never told us his age or held up the appropriate number of fingers. He will be 3 this Saturday.


We were asking him on the phone how old he would be next week and he finally said he will be 3! I thought, here is my chance to ask him how old he is now.


So I asked him. His reply: “You can ask my mom.”


* * *


Has anyone else wondered why there is no exit ramp to northbound I-135 when approaching Newton from the east? Seems to me this option would have been useful to many travelers. They could have added this feature when the road was rebuilt in the ’90s.


* * *


How does egg-drop soup stay so slippery in the heated kettle at Chinese food buffets? I’d think it would turn into scrambled eggs after awhile.


* * *


I really enjoyed the Tabor basketball games against Sterling last Thursday night. It was neat to watch so many former Hillsboro High School players in action.


It was raining 3-pointers all night in the men’s game. What I noticed in particular, though, was that the inside play is somewhat like watching wrestling, or better yet, fighting.


I thought the referees were supposed to clean up the game this year and call it much tighter inside. Not so, at least not in the KCAC.


As Rod Hamm said, “The genie (referring to the rough play) is out of the bottle and they can’t put it back in.”


* * *


As of Friday, I qualify for senior discounts, though I doubt I will accept them.


I think this senior discount thing is backward and agree with what my father-in-law, Ennis Unruh, has always said: Young families with kids should get the discounts.


When AARP started sending me mail five years ago, I wrote and asked them to quit sending me stuff. We don’t need class warfare between the young and the old.


But maybe I’ll change my tune 10 or 12 or 15 years from now.

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