Partly Nonsense

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN JOEL KLAASSEN
I went to the grocery store first thing New Year’s Day morning for milk and eggs. My eyes were puffy and when I pulled out my money clip, I dropped it on the floor. Then I dropped it again when I tried to pick it up.


I’m sure the clerks thought I was hung over, but it wasn’t that at all. It’s hard to function with too much sleep.


* * *


What is this world coming to? Monkey Ward soon will be gone forever. We haven’t been in a Ward’s store for 20 years. That’s part of their problem. Not enough people shopped there anymore.


As a kid, I remember looking at their catalog, which was called “the wish book.” It was printed in full color, too!


Someone who works at the place where we have the Free Press printed said: “I hate it that Wards is going out. They gave me a charge card when no one else would.”


That too could have been part of the problem, too.


* * *


Matt Esau, who is our Web master and is into computers and what they can do, penned a new phrase: “computer manual labor.”


This occurs when you program the computer with a script to do tasks that people otherwise would do sitting at the keyboard using a series of keystrokes. But in the process, you have to sit idly while the computer does its work because the machine is tied up.


* * *


I read recently that a woman’s tool kit contains two things: WD-40 and duct tape.


The WD-40 is for things that don’t move that should, and the duct tape is for things that move that shouldn’t.


Come to think of it, a lot of men have the same tool kit.


* * *


This break in the weather is sure welcome. Last weekend I washed our vehicles at the car wash, and that was no easy task.


With all of the ice that had collected on the wash floor, it was all I could do to stay on my feet.


The first time I pulled the trigger on the spray wand, the torque from the water spun me around on the slippery surface. From then on, I grab on to the brackets for holding floor mats-and whatever else was permanently attached to the walls.


Yes, I know you can use the drive-through bay, but what fun would that be?


* * *


In case it hasn’t occurred to you…. What has happened to Montgomery Wards applies in Marion County, too.

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