Video Views

“High Fidelity.” Rated: R. I give it a 3 on a scale of 5.

Top five reasons a typical movie fan would want to avoid “High Fidelity”:

(1) So much crude language the two-hour film would only be one-hour long if “F” were not a letter of the alphabet.

(2) A John Cusack overdose. Either you like him or you don’t. If you don’t, stay away from this one.

(3) It’s a film without a plot.

(4) The characters worship vinyl as the only true medium for recording. Puhleeez.

(5) All those top-five lists get really annoying.

Bonus: (6) You are over 35.

Cusack plays Rob Gordon, owner of a vintage record shop who has very little business sense, super poor taste in friends and extra bad luck with women.

As his confessions of love’s labors lost unfold painfully before viewers, he recounts his top-five breakups of all time, starting at the schoolyard and ending at his current love interest, Laura (Iben Hjejle).

She is in the process of dumping him and moving out, presumably because he is a 30-something adolescent with no future. She, on the other hand, has made her mark as a lawyer and has made the mistake of growing up and leaving him behind to wallow in his own immaturity.

“High Fidelity” does score some comedic hits. Gordon’s friends are about as quirky as people get. Dick (Todd Louiso) is a prissy, socially-challenged geek with a savant knowledge of rock and roll from decades past.

Barry (Jack Black) is a potty-mouthed and acid-tongued social misfit who is as full of himself as he is of musical knowledge.

Gordon laments he asked them to help him out for three days, and they just kept coming back. He can’t fire them because, technically, he never hired them. He refers to the duo as “the musical moron twins.” And, they more than live up to the title.

Gordon’s love interests are played by Lili Taylor, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Lisa Bonet of “Cosby” fame as a musical one-night stand.

The film contains a fair amount of sexual banter and enough quasi-nudity to earn a clear “R” rating, even if the guttural utterings were cleaned up.

This is not a movie for teens, though I doubt they would find it all that interesting anyway. It has little to do with music and spends most of its two hours detailing Gordon’s self-examination. Yawn.

Bob Wade is a local video enthusiast. The videos he reviews come courtesy of Radio Shack/Quick Flick, 110 N. Main, Hillsboro.

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