ORIGINALLY WRITTEN BOB WADE
?The Bachelor.” Rated: PG-13. I give it a 3 on a scale of 5.
Holy matrimony, Batman, Robin?s starring in a movie! Chris O?Donnell,
who earned his wings playing second fiddle on the Caped Crusader crew,
stars in ?The Bachelor,? a recent video release from New Line Cinema.
And, after watching O?Donnell work solo for 97 minutes, I?m thinking
he may want to consider suiting up and heading back to the Bat Cave.
It?s not that O?Donnell is particularly lame in this romantic comedy
(though he doesn?t do much to enhance it besides look good for the
ladies), the movie itself lacks the charm that makes for memorable
films.
O?Donnell plays Jimmy, a bachelor who likes to play the field. While
his friends are submitting to the old ball and chain in regular
succession, Jimmy has managed to stay single.
Then, along comes Anne (Renee Zellweger of ?Jerry McGwire? fame). She
comes so close to capturing his heart that he decides to pop the
question. But, he botches that so badly that he gains fame throughout
San Francisco as the worst proposer in the city.
?You win,? he says, sliding the engagement ring across the table at
her. She walks out on him.
Things change dramatically for Jimmy when he learns his cranky
grandfather (Peter Ustinov with a bad southern accent and a penchant
for yelling into a megaphone) has died and left him $100 million on
the condition that he get married before his 30th birthday.
Unfortunately, that birthday is the next day.
Now, the shoe is on the other foot for Jimmy, who must convince
somebody to marry him.
The best section of the movie follows as the bachelor attempts to land
a lady. He starts at the top of the list and works his way to the
bottom as the women turn him down for various reasons.
His search is aided by his best friend (Artie Lang), his lawyer (Ed
Asner) and a friend of his grandfather (Hal Holbrook). All are good
enough in their roles to make the leading actors look bad.
The best character is the patient priest, played by James Cromwell of
?Babe? fame. He says very little through most of the movie, but his
body language tells all.
As Jimmy works his way down the list of potential brides, he begins to
realize how much he really loves Anne, especially now that she is
unavailable to him.
Or is she? Since the breakup, she has been visiting her overly
affectionate parents and has been pining over losing Jimmy.
At this point, those who have not guessed the obvious will see the
ending clearly. There is no doubt these two will get together. But,
that?s how romantic comedies work.
The movie takes a turn for the interesting as Jimmy?s friend,
desperate to help his buddy and owner of the company he works for,
takes out an add in the newspaper. He gets more than he bargains for
as the story lands on the front page, and hundreds of potential brides
show up in search of a wealthy husband.
Poor Jimmy is forced to run for his life as the deadline and the
climax of the movie rapidly approach.
?The Bachelor? is a remake of a 1925 Buster Keaton classic film short
called ?Seven Chances.?
Naturally, the new version adds some crude language and sexual
innuendo to lure modern audiences. But, there is nothing lude enough
to worry parents of teenagers.
For a PG-13 movie, it?s really quite mild.
Bob Wade is a local video enthusiast. The videos he reviews come
courtesy of Radio Shac
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