Written by by Joel Kleinsasser
Tuesday, 01 February 2000 18:00
Random thoughts while wondering why the Kansas City Chiefs couldn’t find anyone on Planet Earth to execute
Random thoughts while wondering why the Kansas City Chiefs couldn’t find anyone on Planet Earth to execute a long, straight kick off?
-- If you wonder why college bowl games often are ragged, consider that teams have a four-to-six week layoff between their last regular season game and the bowl game. So much for the theory that practice makes perfect.
-- Sounds to me like some fans and media types want KSU football coach Bill Snyder to undergo a personality transplant. His low-key and dour style grates on some people.
The personality of coaches varies greatly. OK, so Snyder won't make a list of the top 10 most flamboyant coaches. Neither would former Nebraska coach Tom Osborne or former Dallas Cowboys coach Tom Landry and they did rather well.
-- I keep having this flashback of another Kansas City kick off sailing out of bounds against the Raiders.
-- Trivia question: Which five-sided piece of equipment became standard in 1900? Answer later.
-- “For a while I was eating so many oats, I started counting with my foot.” —Utah basketball coach Rick Majerus, on dieting after heart surgery.
-- Being tall isn’t everything. Tom Burleson, on being 7-4, said, “I can’t miss a class. The professor doesn’t have to call the roll to know I’m not there.”
-- In the “things aren’t always what they seem department”: “The phone rang and my wife told me it was Sports Illustrated. I cut myself shaving and fell down the steps in my rush to get to the phone. I said hello and a voice on the other end said, ‘For just 75 cents an issue ...’” —Speedy Morris, basketball coach at LaSalle, on what he thought would be his first major interview.
-- Trivia answer: A baseball home plate.
-- If you’re so smart, try this one: Which female basketball star led her college team to an undefeated 35-0 record in the 1994-95 season? Answer later.
-- Here’s another trivia question. Who is Joe Nedney? Answer later.
-- Dick Vitale, on the biggest surprise of his life: “When my wife said, ‘I do.’”
-- Hey, Denver—was John Elway that good?
-- Overheard at Chiefs-Raiders game. “Get ready to duck, honey. Kansas City is kicking off again.”
-- I’d like a dollar for every “false start” penalty in professional football and a nickel every time an announcer says, “They’re going to have to make a big play.”
-- Answer to second trivia question: Rebecca Lobo.
-- Detroit loses four games in a row and made the NFL playoffs. Dallas went 8-8 and qualified. That’s parity for you. There’s a fine line between being in the penthouse or the outhouse.
-- Answer to last trivia question: Joe Nedney is the Kansas City castoff who booted a 33-yard field goal in overtime for Oakland to end the Chiefs’ season. Ironically, Nedney is a kicker the Chiefs auditioned and rejected just three weeks prior to the game with Oakland. Ouch.
-- Call me a softie, but I felt sorry for Jon Baker, the Chiefs kickoff specialist who kicked the ball out-of-bounds three times. When the TV cameras zoomed in on him on the sidelines after his last kick sailed out of bounds, he reminded me of Charlie Brown. At least Baker got to kick the ball. Charlie Brown won’t ever get the chance unless cartoonist Charles Schultz lets him in one of his last Sunday comic strips.
-- From watching highlights of college and professional basketball games on ESPN or local TV, you’d think the game involves nothing more than dunks and 3-point shots.
-- I know former KU football coach Glen Mason had a good year coaching the University of Minnesota this year, but it’s not a particularly proud moment to be the only team to lose to a PAC 10 team in a bowl game.
-- Do you realize we’re less than 1,000 years away from Y3K and no one is reporting on our unreadiness?
-- Do you like the use of replays in professional football to correct questionable calls? At least the current system makes more sense than the one tried some years ago.
-- Speaking of replays, upon further review, I wish I could unbreak my leg.
Sports 
