Slick offers insights on conference realignment

Written by Joe Kleinsasser Tuesday, 04 October 2011 16:43

Never at a loss for words, my agent, I.M. Slick, dropped by the other day to clear up the college realignment confusion.

Joe: “I’m feeling dizzy and woozy from all the talk about college realignment.”

Slick: “I feel your pain, my boy, but never fear, I’m your agent and I’m here to help.”

Joe: “Well, that would be a first. But as for the matter at hand, depending on the day of the week and the hour of the day, it seems that the Big 12 is on the endangered species list and in jeopardy of extinction.”

Slick: “Your concern is unfounded. Besides, whether that’s the case or not is immaterial.”

Joe: “Unfounded? Immaterial? How can you say that? A year ago Nebraska and Colorado left for greener pastures, and now...

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Breaking ties comes harder for some sports than others

Written by Joe Kleinsasser Tuesday, 20 September 2011 16:23

World Cup this summer showed that determining a winner in soccer with penalty kicks is problematic at best and luck at worst.

The U.S. women’s cup team won and lost games decided by penalty kicks. Somehow that seems fair, because you are tempting fate anytime you have to rely on penalty kicks to win a game.

For the uninformed, after playing a regulation game and overtime period, the winner is determined by penalty kicks taken by five different players from each team. Trying to stop a penalty kick is little more than a guessing game on the goalkeeper’s part or a poor kick by the person kicking. Penalty kicks have little to do with how the rest of the game is played.

Imagine having to decide a basketball game by shooting free throws...

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Celebrate the end of summer ’11

Written by Joe Kleinsasser Tuesday, 06 September 2011 15:46

According to the calendar, fall doesn’t start until Sept. 23, but who cares? After sweltering the past three months and breaking nu­mer­ous heat records, we can look forward to cooler weather. Never mind that a few months from now we’ll wish for warmer weather again.

I don’t know the source, but I heard it was so hot this summer that cows were giving evaporated milk.

Before accusing me of being out in the heat too long, let me show you that when it comes to sports, there’s an unending supply of bizarre happenings that often produce great punch lines.

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Did you see the story in The Wichita Eagle about John Wright and his son, Matthew? Like a lot of dads, John got involved in coaching because of his son. When Wright first...

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Physician’s presence will be missed on HHS, Tabor sideline

Written by Joe Kleinsasser Tuesday, 23 August 2011 14:56

One person has been on the sidelines at more Hills­boro High School and Tabor College home football games than anyone else I know during the past 24 years. Whoever is in second probably isn’t even close.

This person isn’t a coach, football player, newspaper reporter or statistician.

This person never even played sports competitively while growing up.

Technically, Dr. Randy Claassen wasn’t required by the rules of football to be on the sidelines, although it’s advisable in a sport as violent as football that someone with his skills should be. Maybe that’s why HHS and Tabor did the prudent thing by having Dr. Claassen available on the sidelines since 1986, just in case something unfortunate happened.

Dr. Claassen is much...

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