Written by Andrew Ottoson Wednesday, 21 November 2007 06:49When A-Rod signed with the Yankees, I thought I had this week’s column pretty well mapped out: two thoughts about why the Yankees would pour $275 million worth of batter into a cake they already know will turn out half-baked; two jokes about how Scott Boras will cope with standing in line for his unemployment check and two observations about other times when baseball history has repeated itself.
Then Barry Bonds got indicted, completely dwarfing that A-Rod idea roughly 25 minutes after I finished typing it up. After 35 minutes of irrational ranting and raving about asterisks and Don Shula and hat sizes, I decided that I’ve already said everything I have to say on the subject on Aug. 15:
“...because money and fame and records are...
Written by Andrew Ottoson Wednesday, 07 November 2007 11:37Much has been made of the New England Patriots’ 9-0 start to the NFL season. Turn on a pre-game show, and a holographic representation of Terry Bradshaw’s cloned talking head will still be making a big deal out of the connection between the so-called Camera-Gate signals-stealing “scandal” earlier this year and the Patriots obvious inclination toward scoring more points than are minimally necessary to win.
What Bradshaw won’t say, and what I think is probably the most salient point to make about the Pats is this:
In last season’s AFC championship against the Colts, New England played the whole second half like they already had the game in the bag. They very plainly did not have the game in the bag, and ended up losing a game...
Written by Andrew Ottoson Wednesday, 24 October 2007 08:11The Colorado Rockies have officially stepped out into the big time, and I couldn’t be more excited about baseball. I keep having this dream where David Ortiz is trying to play first base while dragging an oxygen tank and hobbling around like a dying mob boss who smoked three cigars a day for 47 straight years.
Coco Crisp is there, too...and J.D. Drew, and Manny Ramirez, and they run and run and run but never seem to catch the line drives before they short-hop the 375 sign in left center.
And in my dream, Josh Beckett is not very happy about bloop singles, hanging curves and everything that happens at altitude, and Curt Schilling is wearing bronze armor and a helmet that may or may not have been endorsed by Leonidas himself.
Written by Andrew Ottoson Wednesday, 10 October 2007 07:30October is probably my favorite month of the year, and not just because October used to be the month when the weather finally cooled off.
I don’t have a thermometer in my living room, but I’m sure it topped 90 degrees in there more than once this weekend.
It’s obviously a great time to be a sports fan, between the baseball playoffs and football season hitting its full stride.
It’s also the one month when an adult can buy candy in bulk without anyone batting an eye. Halloween is also the one occasion when seemingly normal adults can have an ordinary conversation that ends with one of them saying, “I’m getting a Captain Kirk costume this year.”
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Sunday was a tough day to be a pro football fan in Kansas. After being...
Written by Andrew Ottoson Wednesday, 26 September 2007 10:13Those 20-second segments where the booth announcers call up the sideline reporters for the coach interviews before halftime are my least favorite seconds of each NFL broadcast.
I wouldn’t even watch it except for this feeling I get that if I change the channel, Mike Shanahan will say something like, “I felt like we had some trouble running the ball, but instead of making a few adjustments to give ourselves a chance in the second half, we’re just going to quit. Well, the team will probably keep trying to win, but I know our goose is cooked, so I’m clocking out for the day. And by the way, where’s the closest deli to the south parking lot? I could really go for a reuben.”
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Of course, Shanahan would never retire after the...
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