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Fun with football

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Written by Andrew Ottoson Tuesday, 04 November 2008 15:34

Heading into Sunday, this was by far the best week of football I’ve watched all season long, and not just because the alma mater took care of business against Southwestern.

The Texas-Texas Tech game might eventually rival the White Album in terms of pure-but-imperfect rock-and-roll greatness: if the Mccoy-to-Williams touchdowns are Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da, then the Harrell-to-Crabtree game winner has to be Blackbird, right?

I mean, if people are still talking about that Mccoy-to-Williams connection fifty years from now, it will only be because that hookup was the annoying-but-catchy prelude to the near-perfect Harrell-to-Crabtree connection later in the game.

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But then, on Sunday, the quality of play took a turn for the worse...

Boxing analogy glove doesn’t fit on politics

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Written by Andrew Ottoson Tuesday, 21 October 2008 13:07

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the main event! In the red corner, the pride of Coco Solo Naval Air Station, the sensational heavyweight slugger, John “The Formidable Temper” McCaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain!!!!!

In the blue corner, the challenger, weighing it at just shy of 109 pounds in a sopping wet cardigan, Rocky “Balboa” Ooooooooooobamaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

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OK, OK, that fight never happened in real life. It was an analogy, and it only happened once or twice a week in every single newspaper, magazine or Web site that covers national politics.

I read somewhere that “John McCain was hoping for a knockout punch” during the debate.

“He didn’t get it in his final debate with Barack Obama,” the article went. “But he did...

Aubrey injury should be a wake-up call

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Written by Andrew Ottoson Tuesday, 23 September 2008 17:58

Baseball is a joke. Joke, as in, have you heard the one about how Bud Selig rescheduled a recent couple of Astros games—Houston home games that had to be moved because of Hurricane Ike—not to a ballpark in Texas, but to Milwaukee. Yes, that Milwaukee. As in, the city that’s 92 miles north of Chicago! Milwaukee, as in, Selig’s home town! As in, the city of Miller Park, the stadium that houses the team he is a minority owner of!

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I haven’t checked this to be sure, but I probably just used more exclamation points in the last paragraph than I have in the last two years worth of articles combined! And now I can’t stop using them! I hope there’s a support group! Or a 12-step program!

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I’m not one to gossip, but I...

Football picks: Pats yes, Giants no

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Written by Andrew Ottoson Tuesday, 26 August 2008 15:01

The Kansas Pregame—a football preview guide that covers just about every high school and college football team in Kansas—is sitting on my desk, and that can only mean one thing: it's just about time for my fantasy football draft! Wait... no... what I meant to say is... it's just about time for real life football!

(Before the writer flies off into the dark nebula of fantasy football draft choices, he should mention that the Free Press has about 20 copies of the Kansas Pregame to distribute—so if you'd like one, call, email andrew@hillsborofreepress.com or stop by. We'll be glad to give you a copy, but when they're gone, they're gone.)

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Watching NFL preseason games is brutal. I'd much rather watch the news, an episode of...

Five sports questions for the end of August

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Written by Andrew Ottoson Tuesday, 12 August 2008 14:33

Tabor’s football team was picked at the bottom of the conference in preseason coaches and media polls on Friday, but does it matter?

In 2007, the coaches and media both picked Friends to win the conference, and Friends did place first in the final standings. But the coaches foretold the final position of only two other teams—McPherson and Saint Mary. In 2005, both correctly picked Tabor first.

Compare those to 2006, when both picked Friends to win the conference. Friends finished second to Bethel—a team the coaches had seventh and the media had eighth.

That was not the first time a KCAC team had risen to the top of the conference after a low selection. Tabor was picked fifth by the coaches and seventh by the media in 2004—and...