Written by John Giffin Tuesday, 02 November 2010 15:02
I have always owned a set of hair clippers. It’s not because I don’t like paying for hair cuts or that I try to keep as well-groomed as possible. In fact, I hardly ever use them.
I own hair clippers because every so often I get a wild hair to grow my hair as long as I can stand it. Of course, my venture into the realm of the long-locked doesn’t last long and always ends with an old-fashioned Army-type head procurement.
This is a practice I’m passing along to my almost 2-year-old son.
Lately, my head shavings have become fewer and farther between because of my incredible moving hairline. But this Sunday it felt right.
This self cut was unique, because it was the first time my daughter Rubi had witnessed the ritual. As my beard and hair fell off my face and head, my 4-year-old daughter’s eyes got bigger and bigger as she tried to figure out who I was.
Many of you may be asking, “Why am I being subjected to reading about this guy’s grooming habits?”
I’m hoping it sets the stage for my all-time, top-five worst sports haircuts.
• Jon Kruk, Philadelphia Phillies, late 1980s, early 1990s.
During this time-frame there were a lot of mullets, but Phillies first baseman Jon Kruk had the mother of all mullets.
His beautiful, long-flowing party in the back complemented his physical frame that was comparable to the “before” shot on a Weight Watchers commercial. (I think later it actually was).
When Kruk stepped to the plate in the 1993 World Series, he looked like someone who had escaped from the nosebleed sections, mugged a Phillies player in the clubhouse, stole his uniform and settled in to the batter’s box.
He could hit, though. Even though he wasn’t on the winning team in that World Series (that was the year of Wichita State alum Joe Carter’s walk off home run), the mullet king did land three trips to the mid-summer classic, a haircut, some Nutri-system and a gig on ESPN’s “Baseball tonight.”
• Bob Golic, Oakland Raiders/Cleveland Browns, 1980-90s.
As a youngster I remember seeing Bob Golic, not on the football field, but giving advice to Zach Morris, A.C. Slater and Screech as resident assistant Mike Rogers at California University on “Saved by the Bell: The College Years.”
But as a member of the Raiders, Browns and Patriots, Golic plugged up the middle playing defensive tackle. Even though his numbers were not astounding, Golic’s hair shimmered in the golden California sun, leading to a post-football career in television and motion pictures.
• Sherron Collins, Chicago Richard T. Crane Tech High School, 2006.
College basketball fans will forever remember the buzz cut of Sherron Collins as the winningest Jayhawk in the history of the storied University of Kansas basketball program.
But if you’ve seen footage of Collins in high school you would see him for all his corn-row mullet glory.
As a senior at Crane High School in Chicago, Collins played with his long hair braided into corn rows. But this urban look had a twist.
With the length of his hair apparent in the back, Collins was definitely business up front and party in the back.
Once Collins cut the lengthy locks, his career improved. He was a member of the 2008 national champion Jayhawk squad and now is a member of the NBA’s Charlotte Bobcats.
• Andre Agassi, tennis champion, 1980-90s.
In his recent tell-all book, Andre Agassi admitted to using drugs, including methamphetamines.
That could explain his hair.
At the height of his popularity, Agassi sported a frosted hyper-fro/mullet that drove all the young girls crazy.
The same girls that Agassi’s hair drove crazy back then, now cross the street to avoid anyone with a similar hairstyle.
Say what you will about the former tennis star’s frosty locks, he did marry and have kids with supermodel Brooke Shields and tennis star Steffi Graf.
• Dennis Rodman, five-time NBA?champion, 11-time rebounding title winner, 1980-90s.
A National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics product (Southeastern Oklahoma State), the gender-bending Rodman made hair dye popular for a short while.
First dying his hair multiple colors as a member of the San Antonio Spurs, the 6-foot, 8- inch power forward took his swirling hair style and dominating rebound skills to team up with Phil Jackson, Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen and the rest of the Chicago Bulls for three World Championships.
Following his NBA career, the short-time husband of Hollywood bombshell Carmen Electra has had numerous legal and personal problems.
Most recently, Rodman was in the spotlight as a patient of Dr. Drew Pinsky on VH1’s “Celebrity Rehab.”