Don\'t Ask Why
Written by David Vogel Tuesday, 28 August 2012 13:03I enjoy reading magazines like National Geographic and Popular Science because it makes me feel—however fleeting the sensation may be—just a little more intelligent.
Articles about deep space exploration, mass digital data creation, the fate of the Dragon Blood Tree or explicit directions to build my own robot from scratch using the utensils in my kitchen deeply interest me.
The big words all seem to make sense, and there’s a brief glimmer that, just maybe, one of those articles will...
Written by David Vogel Tuesday, 14 August 2012 13:06The NFL’s preseason began last week, and football has been on my mind ever since. I usually don’t find myself terribly attached to a certain team, but for the sport of it, I like to pick one to root for throughout the season.
But the pickings are starting to get slim. I’ve been for this team and for that team, but each one that I’m for lets me down.
Here’s a recap:
Last year, for example, I rooted for Sight, but I was soon able to predict their downward spiral.
The same thing happened when I rooted for Seeable.
Thankfully, it wasn’t as bad when I rooted for Shadowing, though there were definite hints throughout the season that it wouldn’t end well.
When I was for Closure, the team’s efforts just didn’t pay off...
Written by David Vogel Tuesday, 31 July 2012 13:51always look forward to the Olympic Games.
In these times so full of violence, hate, scandal, political corruption and really, really stupid children’s cartoons, it’s refreshing to see the world’s countries come together in brotherhood to participate in one of man’s most epic events, smiling warmly at each other while secretly harboring a complete and utter loathing for those other countries that think they’re so good.
Yes, it’s nice to sit down in the evening and turn the television to something other than the NCAA commanding Penn State to reseed its practice fields with poison ivy, or Obama declaring his omnipotence in the success of small businesses across America.
(Rumor also has it Al Gore invented the...
Written by David Vogel Tuesday, 17 July 2012 14:24I recently recalled a moment that changed my life forever.
And that moment was shortly preceded by a sound.
And that sound is spelled something like “phud.”
I was 6 years old and spending the day at the rural home of one of my farm friends. Late in the afternoon we heard there was a new baby cow at my friend’s grandparents’ farm.
I wasn’t sure why, but apparently this was a big deal.
We drove a short dirt road to the farmyard where there was, in fact, a new cow. The problem—I quickly realized—was that this baby cow had not exactly—how do I put this delicately?—passed through the Erie Canal.
Unable to blink my city-sheltered eyes, I stared in horror at the unsolicited image in front of me: Two spindly brown legs...
Written by David Vogel Monday, 02 July 2012 21:07I’ve been writing this column thing for more than 10 years now, and it occurred to me that I’ve never explained how the process works. And that just doesn’t seem fair.
Secret recipes, it seems, are a popular way for certain entities to sound mysterious and highly successful, when in fact they simply don’t want to share.
Kentucky Fried Chicken and Dr. Pepper, for instance, make a big deal out of not sharing their respective “11 herbs and spices” and “23 flavors.” It’s like standing on a deck chair on the Titanic and yelling, “Hey, guess what everybody! I have a sure-fire way to turn your second-class bedding into a floatation device! But I’m not telling how!”
Not to be rude, but it’s pretty hard to screw up...
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