Written by Shelley Plett Tuesday, 12 January 2010 19:45
“As women get older, they get sadder.” —Marcus Buckingham from his article, “What’s Happening to Women’s Happiness?” in The Huffington Post, Sept. 17, 2009
There is a reason we’re always out of toilet paper at my house. It’s a condition and there’s a name for it.
I am an “under-buyer.” This means I put off buying necessary things until the very moment I need them. I wonder if there’s a support group.
Even though I can now label it, it makes me unhappy. I don’t like going shopping because I have to.
My self-diagnosis tool is called “The Happiness Project.” It’s basically one woman’s year-long journey to be happier. Once I started checking into it, I see it’s become some kind of movement, thanks to the book turning up No. 2 on the New York Times best-seller list, no doubt.
This whole under-buyer thing is more evidence that I overanalyze stuff. During my ongoing research into finding “more happy,” I have looked to the obvious source, my cat. No worries for her.
There are nights when I’d give up everything to be curled up and clueless on the furnichair. (Recliner to you and me, but according to my youngest, this is the right term for something that’s not a couch but still furniture.)
My cat asks for nothing. She likes me but doesn’t care what I think. I respect that.
And she’s a female. If she was a male cat, the story would be the same. That’s not the case for people. Admit it or not, at times we all struggle to not care how others see us, to be genuine and to find genuine happiness. Women more so than men.
A May 2009 Times Online report claimed that women’s lives have become more complicated in more areas, leaving them (us) less happy than we should be. Women are supposedly engineered to multitask effectively, but how many balls can be kept in the air at one time?
The trouble starts when it becomes more about the number of balls flying than what the balls represent.
There is a lot of evidence to support the research. I would bet most of us either experience it or at least witness it every day.
But why? Is it because there’s never any toilet paper? Desks are too messy? We’re too self-sufficient? All of these frustratingly random things?
Yes, yes, yes. Maybe. Or maybe yes for me, no for you. Sometimes, never.
A group of women who feel unhappy in some aspect of their lives may have some major differences in specifics, but there’s no doubt that there will be some common denominators, too.
If only everybody could be honest about their limitations. Maybe that would lessen the guilt over priorities and over-committing.
I have yet to master the art of portion control when it comes to balancing what I should do with what I need to do with what others think I need to do.
And what I need to do is buy that book, some cat food and toilet paper.