Nothing like a compatible roommate


“She’s the Man’? That’s seriously your favorite movie? Wow, that’s not lame at all…I think I watched that movie at an all-girls birthday party when my friend turned 15.”

The moment these belittling, sarcastic words came out of the mouth of my gorgeous roommate, I knew it was the beginning of something beautiful. Anyone who can insult me right off the bat and not come across as a huge jerk is definitely someone I want to be friends with.

In the past month, Kendra has become one of my closest friends. We have “our song” (“Instant Pleasure” by Rufus Wainright), inside jokes and code names for everyone (more on this later).

During the first weeks of school, when everyone is trying to network but no one knows what to say to new friends, Kendra and I just messed with everyone we met.

Someone once asked, “So, how do you get along with your roommate?” Conveniently, Kendra was right beside me. Her identity was unbeknownst to the inquirer.

“I hate her. She’s a total freak,” I replied with a completely straight face and convincing hostility.

As my new acquaintance tried to figure out how to respond, she managed to say, “Oh, who’s your roommate?”

“Her,” I said with an eye roll, nodding toward Kendra.

Kendra, right on cue, said, “Yeah. I hate Abi. I’m transferring as soon as possible. She’s horrible.”

As the third party attempted to mask a mortified reaction, Kendra and I turned away, interlocked fingers, and skipped back to our dorm happy as can be… leaving our new friend confused on the sidewalk.

These sorts of antics are fairly common activities for Kendra and me. We can often be found laughing and scheming in “The Womb.” That’s our affectionate pet name for our dorm room…it’s very dark and warm.

It’s also shaped like a piece of pie.

Our walls are covered in expressions of our personality. My side: a giant collage of pictures and color. Her side: numerous Beatles posters. Kendra’s obsessed. Actually. She kisses George’s picture each night…. I hope she knows he’s dead and she has no chance with him.

My favorite thing about Kendra, though, is probably her humor. She’s super smart, and it comes out when she makes jokes and says funny things.

Once, I was trying to explain this annoying kid in my history class. As I described him, Kendra goes, “Oh, he’s pedantic… you know, ‘ostentatious in one’s learning.’”

Turns out, this kid’s name is Peter. May I present to you: Pedantic Peter.

Since North Park has about 1,800 undergrad students, there are plenty of people Kendra and I don’t both know. Mneumonic devices have helped us keep our friends straight in our minds during the first week. However, the names have just stuck.

There’s also Stripper Chris… the stereotypical jock who, during a meeting for our history presentation, suggested that he “just strip to distract the class from realizing that we don’t even know what we’re talking about.”

Good times.

When we’re not coming up with strangely accurate nicknames for interesting people, Kendra and I enjoy arranging each others’ stuffed animals in suggestive positions to surprise the other when she returns to The Womb.

We also like to discuss how I, apparently, dress like a boy. This is because Kendra’s wardrobe is infinitely stocked with adorable clothes from Forever 21 and H&M.

I feel that, between the two of us, we have an outfit for any occasion imaginable. I own everything needed for a lazy Saturday (or Monday, or Tuesday, or Wednesday…) and Kendra has enough skinny jeans and leggings to get us through three years without laundry.

It’s only a month into freshman year, but Kendra and I are “in love.” I get that we are still in the “honeymoon stage” of our roommate-ness, but I think we’ll be able to communicate through any issues that may appear in the near future.

We’re so similar yet so different, and it’s beautiful.

Editor’s note: Abi Humber is beginning her freshman year at North Park University in Chicago


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