Written by Abi Humber Tuesday, 27 September 2011 15:54I spent the better part of last weekend in a funk. “Frequent mood instability” is a fairly typical occurrence for me, as I tend to adopt the mood of whomever I’m around.
To further intensify my other-people-induced mood swings, the reality of living with females is that hormones bounce around as freely as bunnies in the summer. Yes, I just related menstruation to nature, via bunnies. Bouncing bunny hormones make me crazy.
But in all seriousness, I’m either incredibly busy or incredibly not busy. My schedule never seems to exist in a comfortable state of normality. As a result, I feel super anxious all the time; either about my packed schedule and all that I need to be getting done, or about my free time, and all that I think...
Written by Abi Humber Tuesday, 13 September 2011 16:32The past four months, I’ve poured my blood, sweat and tears into the Caribou Coffee in Chicago’s East Lakeview neighborhood.
Of course, I’m exaggerating a baby bit—I’ve never actually cried at work. I have bled, though. I have to take out my facial piercings during my shift (boo corporate America!), and once one of my eyebrow rings wouldn’t come out, even after much pinching and pulling. That sucker is so stubborn. But I digress.
East Lakeview is colloquially known as “Boystown” because of its heavy gay population. The eclectic personality of the neighborhood makes for interesting encounters with customers, to say the least.
We have a whole slew of regular customers whose company I have grown to genuinely enjoy...
Written by Abi Humber Tuesday, 30 August 2011 16:16I think I want to be a writer. In fact, I’m almost positive. I saw “The Help” about a week ago, which really solidified that desire in my heart.
If you’ve seen the movie and/or read the book—which everyone absolutely must do—and can recall Emma Stone’s character, just pretend that’s me. That’s who I want to be.
That’s not what I want to get into right now, though. Maybe another time.
But what kind of a writer will I be if I can’t even conjure up solid column ideas on a weekly basis? This is the question I ask myself every single time I sit down to write.
You’re pathetic. Your words are petty. Who cares?
This is what I say to myself as my fingers begin to dance across the keyboard. I try to stop those thoughts...
Written by Abi Humber Tuesday, 09 August 2011 15:37For those who regularly read my column, or know me well in real life, the following information will not come as a surprise: I am a little bit insane.
I suppose I’m not much crazier than the typical almost-20-something, but when my mind gets incredibly full of billions of thoughts and I haven’t been able to properly process them all, things get weird.
This is usually when I grab a friend and say, “Hi. I really need to talk through my life right now. Will you sit silently for 40 minutes while I blabber on and on?”
Most times, that verbal vomit does the trick, and I’m back to “normal” in no time.
But sometimes a listening human isn’t available and I have to implement a different brain-normalizing strategy. People have...
Written by Abi Humber Tuesday, 02 August 2011 19:54Most of the time I have trouble coming up with column topics. It’s not that I don’t have tons of ideas, it’s that I’m never sure that my random life musings are worth putting into print. Last week, though, I found myself with a surplus of “good ideas” when Mama Humber came to visit.
Page after page could be written about the goofy and quirky things that make her unique and wonderful: her ridiculous catchphrases (a breathy “yeeee-haw” during a lull in conversation), her laugh (always big, always loud, always full of life) and her dramatic story-telling mannerisms (much like mine—my Chicago friends would understand so much more about me if they met my mother).
She also does this thing I call “spider voice.” I have...
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