Written by Abi Humber Tuesday, 12 June 2012 15:57It was my first “big girl” apartment, my first summer in Chicago, and my first night at home without my roommates. I was sitting on my bed watching “Weeds” on Netflix when, out of the corner of my eye, I detected a small movement. I managed to turn my attention from Nancy Botwin’s dramatic, suburban-drug-dealer life and fixed my eyes on the doorway.
That’s when I saw it.
A freaking centipede, scuttling along the wall above the door. I think I’ll call him Victor (with a Russian accent) because that sounds semi-sinister.
I watched that sucker make his way around the corner and onto the wall right across from my bed, then down, down, down the wall to the floor. His movements were deliberate. Victor was not taking leisurely...
Written by Abi Humber Tuesday, 29 May 2012 14:42I’m pretty sure that at the end of every May I end up writing a column about how pumped I am for summer. So predictable, I know. It’s not exactly something I’m proud of.
This time each year, I find myself amid a fierce internal battle over a most serious dilemma:
“Abi, do you know what you should definitely do? Write about how excited you are to live in the sunshine...again!”
“Really, self? Of all the things in the entire world you could write about? You do this every single summer. Lame.”
Despite that deeply convincing “nay summer” argument, I inevitably lose to myself and end up writing this very column—which I will henceforth refer to as the “OMG, SUMMER!” column.
Written by Abi Humber Tuesday, 08 May 2012 14:57Since moving to Chicago and becoming politically active, I realize some of my readers may have grown to see me as “Pastor Stephen’s daughter-gone-rogue”—the tattooed city girl with multiple facial piercings who sure seems like a liberal and might even be a feminist.
Well, I’ll let you know up front. That’s all true.
In the words of Rebecca West, an author from the early 1900s, “I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.”
It may seem I’ve changed dramatically since living in Hillsboro, and I suppose that may be the case. For what it’s worth, though, I still see myself as the...
Written by Abi Humber Tuesday, 24 April 2012 15:49Lately, I’ve been feeling pretty dramatic about my future. Big surprise, I know.
I’ve reached my mental capacity from considering the vast array of options that exist, then reached my emotional capacity after coming to terms with the fact that none of those options particularly interest me.
This crushing disappointment has led to an intense, ongoing inner monologue:
“Has my entire college career been a huge waste? Should I have gone a totally different direction...like maybe tried to live in some African jungle, riding elephants and learning to make soup from tree bark...or something?”
“Of course not,” I tell myself, “There are way too many spiders in the jungle. Big ones, too.”
But should I have come to North Park...
Written by Abi Humber Tuesday, 10 April 2012 15:04Until about a week ago, I found myself with a massive amount of disposable income (three jobs, no bills) and have been basking in the luxuries of a really, really, materialistic life.
New shoes from Steve Madden’s spring line? Sure! Impromptu shopping spree at Forever 21 just because I can? Why not! Extravagant West Coast trip without a budget? What a brilliant idea!
My daily commute to work brings me through some of the coolest neighborhoods in Chicago, filled with unique shops just bursting at the seams with stylish clothing, vintage records and kitschy figurines. In my mind, an unlimited amount of stuff I must have.
Inside these stores, I used to browse aimlessly until I found something to buy: knick-knacks that (insert...
Page 4 of 17