Don\'t Ask Why
Written by David Vogel Tuesday, 16 February 2010 20:02I was standing in the entrance of Olive Garden Sunday night when I had a sudden realization. It went something like this: David, this is probably one of the stupidest ideas you’ve ever had.
Of course, this bothered me because my subconscious-self had just used the word “stupidest” despite knowing full and well that the superlative form of “stupid” is, in fact, “unintelligentest.”
The other thing that really bothered me is that I knew my subconscious-self was right.
My girlfriend, Shelby, and I were waiting for one of the estimated two available tables in all the restaurants of Wichita.
As you know (if you pay any attention to the floral wire service ads on television), Sunday was Valentine’s Day. And in accordance...
Written by David Vogel Tuesday, 02 February 2010 19:49I think it’s only fair, with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, that I divulge a secret that will help women better understand men.
I feel I am qualified to give this sort of information on the basis that I have been a male for well over 20 years. Or at least as far back as I can remember.
But at any rate, as a male, I’ve had the opportunity to sit with other males and observe their behavior in male-like settings doing male-like activities with male-like smells.
And the epiphany I had is so astonishing that if it doesn’t help all of you ladies out there better understand us men, then I will personally eat an entire pizza in one sitting by myself.
(In fact, now I hope this doesn’t help any of you. But I’m getting...
Written by David Vogel Tuesday, 19 January 2010 19:36In an opera, if characters get stabbed they don’t die. They just sing about it. For a very, very long time. I learned this last Friday when my dad and I went to Wichita to watch “Rigoletto.”
“Rigoletto” is a tragic opera about a rich man who has affairs with other women, and was written by Tiger Woods.
Whoops! Just kidding!
It was actually written in 1850 by Giuseppe Verdi.
Dad and I decided it would be fun to see “Rigoletto” after I sang a piece from the opera called “La donna è mobile” (or in English, “Woman is Fickle”) at a contest last October. (The late Luciano Pavarotti was famous for singing this number.)
This being the first opera I had ever attended, I was interested to see what the audience would be...
Written by David Vogel Tuesday, 05 January 2010 19:48As I was wading through a snow drift the other day, the thought suddenly occurred to me that it would be much more enjoyable to be traipsing through hot sand on a sunny beach.
I think this became most clear to me as I made one wrong step that sent a handful of snow right up my pant legs and consequently down into the sole of my shoe.
These past several weeks of freezing weather have inspired a lot of beach-themed fantasies for me. In fact, while walking into blustering, frozen winds, I was literally imagining that I was on a beach with cloudless, 90-degree weather.
It’s funny to think that five months ago I was imagining something quite opposite.
That’s because for a few days in August, I really was on a beach with cloudless...
Written by David Vogel Tuesday, 29 December 2009 21:06Ten years ago, there was a lot of talk about a little thing called the Y2K Bug. Remember?
Everyone thought the entire world would come to a grinding halt at the turn of the century due to this computer glitch. And so, when midnight struck, the world was completely shocked to see…. Nothing.
We’ve been through a lot in this first decade of the new millennium. But I think we’ve also been through a lot just in this past year. And because of this, we’ve learned a lot, too. (For example, the Nobel Prize committee has learned that it can apparently get away with handing out prizes for merely breathing.)
I have also learned a lot in 2009, and I’ve shared a lot of that new knowledge with you in this column. So let’s take a stroll...
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