DON'T ASK WHY- Remedial Help for the joke-impaired
Written by David Vogel
Tuesday, 02 May 2006
It was recently indirectly suggested to me that I should write a column to help joke-impaired people be able to tell jokes.
Most people link the inability to tell jokes with the lack of a sense of humor, however I dispute this theory because I know someone who has a great sense of humor, but couldn't tell a joke to save her life.
Karren-the joked-impaired person I was just mentioning-is a great talker. She can go on for days. In fact, I'm sure she could take more than 30 minutes to explain the simple concept that you put your right foot in, you take your right foot out, you put your right foot in, and you shake it all about.
But even though she's the goddess of gabbers, she can't tell jokes. Oh sure, she can set them up great. She'll have her listeners on the edge of their seats, anticipating the hilarious ending to the joke...when she promptly forgets the punch line.
I've often wondered why Karren is like this. It could have something to do with the fact that she's from Canada (where they use metric humor).
But no matter what unit of measurement you happen to be laughing in, it's a true fact that some people simply cannot tell a joke. Some other individuals I've noticed who join Karren in appearing to be joke-impaired are George W. Bush, Martha Stewart, Osama Bin Laden and people on stage who are the only ones laughing at their jokes, which is followed by an awkward silence.
So in today's column, I intend to give you joke-impaired people out there my insights into telling jokes, which will hopefully enable you to live a semi-normal life.
But first we have to figure out who you joke-impaired people are.
To do this, I'm going to give you three setup lines. If you can't come up with a humorous punch line to at least two of them, then you should definitely read the rest of this column. Otherwise, feel free to put this column to better use, such as using it for fuel.
Setup 1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Setup 2: A rabbi, a priest and Saddam Hussein walk into a bar.
Setup 3: What do you get when you cross Dick Cheney and Elmer Fudd?
Now that we have defined you normal people from you poor, unfunny people, let's move on and take a closer look at what exactly a joke is made up of.
A joke should include familiarity. In order for it to be funny, the audience has to understand all the references to other sources that the teller uses.
For example, a marine biologist could tell a joke that would refer to some sort of fish that nobody has ever heard of. Supposing he was telling it to another marine biologist, it might come out funny. But if he told it to a typical, fish-inhibited person, that person's response would probably be to back away slowly.
An average joke is made up of a setup line and a punch line. The setup line is generally the opening to the joke, and prepares the audience for the humor.
Example: What's a termite's favorite breakfast?
The punch line follows the setup, and is usually short and sweet. Example: Oakmeal.
However, several other joke styles are used, too. One of them is usually one or two sentences, and is basically only a punch line. These could range anywhere from "yo mamma" jokes-"Yo mamma's so big she sat on a rainbow and Skittles popped out"-to the current high school favorite, Chuck Norris jokes--"Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris never cries."
However, the anatomy of a joke goes much deeper than having the setup and punch lines.
First, a joke usually contains extreme exaggerations of a fact. In stead of saying Richard Simmons is annoying, for example, you could say that Richard Simmons is so irritating that, in punishment, he should be forced to watch his own exercise videos.
Also, don't overdo it. It's usually a good idea to keep the setup line short and sweet because (1) this may be why you're forgetting the punch line, and (2) you don't want to bore your audience.
When telling a joke, remember that all you need to give your audience is the information they need to make the joke funny.
For example, they probably already know that Chuck Norris starred in "Walker Texas Ranger." So when telling the joke, just say that dinosaurs were wiped out by a massive meteor, if you want to call Chuck Norris a massive meteor.
A good joke usually involves an unexpected twist. The best way to do this is to include true facts in the set-up line, but when it comes time for the punch line, make it completely wacky.
So in closing, I hope I have helped you become more dependable when telling jokes. I also had a great closing sentence, but I forgot it.
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UFO: Tendons, which anchor muscle tissue to bone, have half the tensile strength of steel.