Alfred Hitchcock, the master of suspense, would not have enjoyed the 2005 Menno Bowl.
After Tabor survived 43-42 in double overtime last year to clinch its first Kansas Collegiate Athletic Conference title, many expected this year's matchup to be another down-to-the-wire thriller.
Not quite.
Seventeenth-ranked Tabor scored early and often, building a 47-10 lead by halftime on the way to annihilating the Threshers, 60-10.
It was the Bluejays' largest margin of victory over a KCAC team. Ever.
"I never expected anything like this," coach Mike Gardner said afterward. "It's nice to have a lot of offensive weapons."
Coming off last week's record-setting 66-point outburst against Colorado College, the Bluejays averaged an incredible 8.3 yards per play on the way to their fifth straight win over Bethel.
But the way the contest began, no one would have imagined the final outcome.
Tabor began its first drive on its own 43 yard line. Looking to strike quickly, quarterback Ricky Ishida attempted a pass to wide receiver Aaron Jenkins, but defensive back Brandon Kaufman intercepted the throw for Bethel.
It proved to be one of very few things that would go wrong for Tabor the rest of the night.
Two plays later, BC quarterback Brett Clow was picked off by Tabor's Joe Fenske, who returned the ball to the Thresher 18-yard line.
From there, Tabor scored two plays later when Roger Butler crashed in from nine yards out for a 7-0 lead just two minutes into the game.
The Threshers responded with its only sustained drive of the night-72 yards in 15 plays. But the Bluejays stiffened, forcing a 22-yard field goal by Michael Montez to cut the lead to 7-3.
Bethel's drive only delayed the inevitable. Tabor came right back with a seven-play, 48-yard scoring drive capped by Butler, who rammed into the end zone from two yards out. Tabor led, 14-3.
A diversified attack, Gardner said, proved to be the difference in Saturday's outcome.
"Dustin Miller (offensive coordinator) does a great job of getting our offense prepared every week," Gardner said. "I've known for a long time that Dustin was good. It's been a real blessing for me to be able to work with him."
The Threshers may have thought a 14-3 deficit after one quarter was daunting, but they hadn't seen anything yet.
Tabor's 33-point blitz in the second quarter left Bethel fans wondering how last year's game was so competitive and this year's was, well, not.
Tabor's first score of the quarter covered 80 yards in nine plays, topped by Butler's third touchdown of the night, this one from two yards out.
After the defense forced another Thresher punt, Tabor went to its bag of tricks when Jenkins took the ball on an apparent reverse, but pulled up and hit fullback Ben Brown in stride down the Tabor sideline for a 67-yard score.
Marcus Manny's kick swelled the margin to 21-3 with 10:23 left the half.
Things went from bad to worse for Bethel. Twenty-one seconds later, Andy Bartell stepped in front of a pass intended for Andrew Baeza and returned it 34 yards for another Tabor score.
"For whatever reason, it seemed like they kind of avoided Tim Steven's side and tried to go after Andy," Gardner said. "But he picked one and housed it and scored. He made a good read on the play."
Tabor's next possession covered 66 yards in just over eight minutes and culminated when Ishida scored on a quarterback sneak to put Tabor on top, 41-3.
Bethel answered with its only touchdown of the night, but it took a freak play to get it.
Running back Phillip Barron found a crease up the middle of the Bluejay defense for a 22-yard gain, but had the ball stripped by Tabor's Robert Haude.
Bethel's Peter Garibaldi scooped up the ball and sprinted the final 23 yards for the Thresher score, cutting the margin to 41-10 with 4:35 left in the first half.
Unfortunately for the Threshers, that still left plenty of time for Tabor's offense to retaliate.
It took only three plays and 1:25 for Ishida to carve through the Thresher defense like a hot knife through butter. Tabor scored on a 24-yard pass to Layne Frick, and the half mercifully ended with Tabor on top, 47-10.
The Bluejays had rolled up 348 yards of offense in 30 minutes against a defensive unit which allowed just 379 per game in its first two contests.
Credit Tabor's massive and experienced offensive line for the result.
"They're the nucleus of any offense, period," Gardner said. "It doesn't matter whether you run-and-shoot or if it's power football, the offensive line sets the tone for the entire football game. Our guys up front do a really good job."
Not coincidentally, all five starters earned All-KCAC accolades last season. Center James Pizano, 6 feet, 2-inches, 330 pounds, said the line has worked hard to earn its reputation.
"I think our success this season comes from a lot of hard work in practice," he said. "The offensive line knows that if we dominate up front in the trenches, we can put up the points like we have the last two games.
"Coach Miller switches up every game and there's something new each week to take advantage of our offensive weapons."
Pizano is joined by Andy Curtis (6-4, 270), Bobby Hurd (6-5, 325), Grant Myers (6-1, 280) and Cody Dick (6-1, 265).
The Bluejays opened the second half with another impressive drive, covering 56 yards in four plays. Ishida's pass of 19 yards to Jeff MacKinnon gave Tabor a 53-10 lead.
On Tabor's next possession, Gardner left his horses run one last lap. The results were predictable: a nine-play, 62-yard drive completed with a 26-yard pass from Ishida to Caleb Marsh to account for the final 60-10 score.
After Ishida's first pass was intercepted, the junior signal caller completed 15 consecutive passes for 210 yards.
Brown led all receivers with five catches for 122 yards; seven receivers had at last one catch.
Butler led the Bluejay rushing attack with 122 yards on 19 carries as Tabor amassed 488 yards of total offense.
Equally impressive was the Bluejay defense, which held Barron to a respectable 91 yards after the California junior came into the contest averaging 235.5 yards per game.
"I felt we played fairly well on defense," Gardner said. "Our kids came out and played hard and got it done.
"Barron was definitely someone we worried about, so to hold him under 100 yards is a really great feat," he added.
"He's going to do some great things this year."
Jake Schenk led the Bluejay defense with 11 tackles while Haude 10 and Tyler McKim nine.
With the victory, Tabor moves to 3-0 overall and 2-0 in the KCAC. The Jays are tied for first with upstart Sterling College, who was idle last week.
Coming-Tabor plays host to Bethany College on Saturday, starting at 1:30 p.m. at Reimer Field. The Bluejays hope to avenge their only KCAC defeat last year.